Doesn’t the law say that you’re innocent until proven guilty?

Okay, I know what you’re thinking–enough with the Roxy posts.

But really, I just have to share this with you.

Why? Because while our little furry friend is so cute you want to eat her up with a spoon, she also has a little Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on.

Roxy says, “Don’t we all?”

However, that’s not the point.

What is important is how Edward, affectionately known as Eddie, met his demise.

Edward, aka Eddie, December 24, 2010-December 25, 2010

Eddie’s short life timeline:

Eddie, purchased on December 24, 2010, left his home, the pet store, at 1300 hours.

Eddie was wrapped lovingly and given to Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 10:00.

Eddie was nuzzled and loved by Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 10:05.

Eddie was put away while members of the family went out at 10:30.

Eddie was put to bed with Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 21:00.

Eddie’s left arm was mangled by Roxy at 21:30.

Eddie was removed from Roxy’s custody and placed on the staircase until damage to his person could be assessed at 21:45.

Eddie was cunningly retrieved by Roxy at 22:00.

A chunk of Eddie’s left side was chewed off by Roxy at 22:15 while Bella showered and the two residing village nincompoops turned a blind eye to his plight.

Eddie is discovered by Bella, laying in a pool of his own rubber and unconscious at 22:30.

Eddie is declared dead at 22:31.

A perimeter is set up to keep onlookers out of the crime scene at 22:32.

Bella, acting as CSI investigator, performs a walk through and photographs the scene at 22:35.

Bella, acting as coroner investigator, establishes Eddie’s approximate time and cause of death at 22:40.

Bella, acting as coroner, allows Significant Other to take Eddie away at 22:41.

Suspects are questioned regarding incident at 22:43.

Roxy attempts to flee the scene of the crime and thus assumes culpability for the tragedy at 22:45.

It wasn't me. I'm innocent.

Roxy is apprehended and given a time out at 22:46.

Roxy is allowed to leave time out area at 22:48.

Roxy is bequeathed a bunny blanket by Significant Other at 22:49.

Significant Other is placed on time out for allowing the spirit of stupidity to possess him at 22:50.

Eddie’s remains are disposed of at 22:55.

R.I.P Eddie.

14 thoughts on “Doesn’t the law say that you’re innocent until proven guilty?

  1. Poor Eddie, we barely knew ye. *sitting in a moment of silence*
    Our catahoula Scoobie does the same thing. A toy is not safe for more than 24 hours and then its shredded all to heck.
    Rest in Pieces Eddie.

  2. Roxy, you bad bad girl! But I can totally understand the NEED to rip those stupid things apart. Maddie and Mister B have gone through so many stuffed toys (and I stitch them back together again), but the Mister….well, being a “guy” dog, he has other ideas in his little canine brain when it comes to playing house.

    • Rowena, if I had any mental energy left, I’d stitch my brain back together! Hee hee! In the meantime, Roxy continues to get rid of her little friends in the worst despicable way. Bad Roxy indeed!

    • Happy New Year, lady! And yes, thank the Lord for small miracles and keeping any pair of shoes from having been the victim! :) (Not that I have any Louboutins laying around!)

  3. Thank you for the giggle! Poor Eddie….He was probably so happy for a new home. Little did he know it would be so short-lived!

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