Would you be rich by now?


cc licensed ( BY NC SD ) flickr photo shared by kate e. did

We knew the possibility existed.

Yet we prayed, crossed our fingers, and started a novena.

But all was for naught.

After a long wait, the repair person came out of his office and delivered the news that no laptop computer owner wants to hear.

“I’m afraid, it’s the motherboard.”

My reaction?
Nooooooooooooo!

For more than a month now, the Son has been without his laptop.

And as a result, so have I.

Why?

Because he’s been hogging mine every chance he gets.

Sadly, this has resulted in me writing posts and responding to comments in the wee hours of the morning.

And frankly, I’m spent.

Hearing today’s dreadful news only confirms that this situation, this dreadful little arrangement the Son has, is going to continue.

Until only the good Lord knows when.

After stumbling home, a migraine effectively blurring my vision, I picked up the phone and dialed my sister.

Because misery loves company.

And because usually, no matter what my circumstances, hers are usually worse.

And that makes me feel better.

Not that things are worse for her, but the realization that mine aren’t as bad as I think they are.

“It’s the motherboard,” I tell her without so much as saying hello.

“The mother what?”

“The mother to some board in the laptop.”

“What board?”

“How the hell should I know? All I know it’s going to cost more than 300 euros to repair.”

“Is that how much mothers are worth now?”

“It appears so, yes.”

“Mother @#$@!”

After commiserating for another twenty minutes, my sister said, “Girl, if I had a dime for every time…”

It was this phrase that gave me the idea for this post.

Because after feminism, chivalry, racism, and discrimination, I want to keep it light.

And because I only have an hour before the Son arrives and hogs Apollo.

Apollo’s my laptop.

Poor guy. He’s really been working overtime.

My laptop, not the Son.

So here it is, friends.

Let me know if you agree.

If I had a dime for every time…

~I wished things would happen and they don’t.

~ I wished things wouldn’t happen and they do.

~I sat on the toilet and realized there wasn’t any toilet paper.

~I asked the Son to do something and heard him say, “In a minute!”

~Roxy pooped in front of people and we didn’t have poopie bags to scoop it up.

~The phone rang while I was in the bathroom, taking a shower, or getting frisky with the Significant Other.

~I asked the Significant Other or the Son to take out the trash and they said, “Tomorrow.”

~I added baking soda when the recipe called for baking powder.

~I forgot to turn on my cell phone and when I did, had twenty missed calls.

~I remembered to turn on the cell phone and nobody called.

~I called the Son on the cell phone and he didn’t pick up.

~I called the Significant Other on the cell phone and he didn’t pick up.

~ I asked Roxy to “come here” and she ignored me.

~I stepped on dog poop while taking Roxy out to poop.

~I opened my umbrella in the rain and it turned inside out.

Join the pity party and finish the sentence.

If I had a dime for every time…

72 thoughts on “Would you be rich by now?

    • OMG, Jodi, you too? It’s like Murphy’s Law! You sit down to write, eat, pee, or anything in your order of importance, and the cry to alert a crisis starts! Argh! :)

    • Becomingcliche, hello and welcome! Computers and Freud–I love it! Brilliant! I might take you up on that extra roll of toilet paper, so stay close! :)

  1. …. I finally get to catch an episode of Law and Order: SVU or Family Guy and it’s the ONE episode I have already seen!

    … I spill something on my shirt right before going to work but wear it anyway because I’m too lazy to change and pretend I had no idea when someone points it out.

    • Caryn, I think we all pretend we didn’t know a stain was there! hee hee! For me, it’s white clothing. I wear something white and like the sun comes up every morning, a spill will ensue! And like you, I pretend I didn’t know it was there! :)

    • Jann, yes! Thank goodness for Akismet which protects the blog. My hotmail? That’s another story! You should see some of the spam in my junk mail. Some of it is enough to make any woman blush! hee hee! :)

  2. Sharing a laptop is about as much fun as sharing a car, Bella — neither works long or well! Sounds as if somebody needs to make a purchase. You? The son? Both? Face it, this can’t go on forever — you’re wearing yourself out, becoming frustrated, having to blog in the wee hours, and worrying. Life’s too short for that, lady! Sending you a long-distance hug and hoping you stumble across just the right amount of money to solve the problem!

    • Debbie, thank you for empathizing! Like my mom always says, “It’s time to play lottery!” Too bad no one I know ever wins. But of course, you’re right. The wear and tear on an item as sensitive as a laptop is significant. I’m going to have to see what I can do to solve our situation. And like you said, life is too short for so much frustration! :)

  3. All Hail the Motherboard!
    Here’s one I shared with Monica of Monica’s Tangled Web though I didn’t say it, my doctor said it to me after I complained to her about forgetting everything all the time: “If I had a nickel for every time a forty-somethiing woman said that to me, I could retire!”
    Right now for me, these two would make me rich:
    If I had a dime for every time any question I ask is answered with “Not me!” (would love to have a word with this ‘not me’ person!) or if I had a dime for every time I said, “Please hang up your coats!”.
    BTW, check and see if the local library near you has computers for use… maybe you could spend some time there (or send your son to spend some time there!).

    • Astra, when you meet “Not me” direct him/her my way cause I want to meet him or her too! He or she is legendary in my home. And the coats? OMG, that applies to me as well! I usually end up hanging up every coat in the house. That, or the remain on the sofa in the family room. There are days I simply don’t have the energy. The library is a good idea if they didn’t charge people to use them! Yes, lady, in this country you even pay for that! :)

  4. …for every time you make me laugh!!! LOVE you, Bella. Get the daughter to send him a new one. They are super cheap right now in the States! Probably cheaper than fixing the motherboard and more fun, too!:)

    • Brynne, you are so adorable! Thank you! I was thinking of looking into purchasing one online and asking either my sister or the Daughter to send it. However, before I do that, I have to check how much I will have to pay for taxes. They’re sky high here! :( Thanks for the suggestion, lady! Love you! :)

  5. … for every time Mr. Hubs belches the word BELCH.
    … for every time Mr. Hubs threatens to drop off our kitties at the Thai restaurant on the corner (Kung Pao Meow).
    … for every time my coworker schedules a doc appt during her work hours, which end at 2:00!
    … and yes, for every time you make me laugh!!

    • bwhahaha! Lori, if I had a dime for every time you crack me up! OMG! Mr. Hubs threatening to drop the kitties off at the Thai restaurant! hee hee! Before we got Roxy, the Significant Other used to tell me he wanted a large dog. He said if I got a small dog, he would walk it once–to the Chinese restaurant two blocks down! Now when I remind him of what he said, he says, “I don’t remember saying that!” Yeah, right. :)

  6. … every time I checked Facebook, I’d be living in luxury, baby! :-)

    What Brynne said is spot on. You can get a great laptop for about $400.00 – maybe even less (more if you want it loaded with a pre-keyed Microsoft Office Suite). I know that’s a lot – it’s a lot for me, at any rate – but in the scheme of things… xoxo

    • Ellen, are you a Facebook addict like the Son and the Daughter? hee hee! My sister mentioned I should check with Best Buy. What do you think? Hugs for you! :)

  7. …every time I decided to do something and then felt too lazy to do it.

    I feel your pain, Bella. Not having the access to your computer when you want it can be quite stressful.

    • Ivana, thank you for your support. It’s now half past 11pm my time, so tonight’s not that bad. The Son has a test tomorrow and hence, has gone to bed. Thank God! hee hee! I’m going to try to resolve this as quickly as possible! :)

  8. I’d say ditto to every one here (except for the kid ones, I haven’t had time to get any yet).

    Also, I would be rich if I had a dime for every time I told myself “This is the hair cut that is going to stick. I will always have my hair like this.” Hair is on my mind right now.

    • Rachel, take your time with the kids! Trust me on this one! hee hee! I’m thinking of getting my hair cut too. Gosh I hate it when I have to do that. The first few days it always looks horrible! :)

    • Oh Elizabeth! That’s so true for my sister as well! hee hee! It’s ironic, isn’t it? They want independence but the minute they realize how much living on their own cost, they come scurrying back! :)

  9. I watched a crappy movie at the recommendation of my husband… :)

    If you were to pay 300 euros to fix that laptop, just buy him a new one!

    • Laura, that’s exactly why I don’t watch anything the Significant Other recommends! hee hee! And really, there’s no way I’m going to pay 300 euros for a three year old computer. No way, Jose! :)

  10. If I had a dime for every time I lose something. If I had a dime for every time I put on my pajamas and then Henry wants to go outside because nature’s calling.
    I get my car washed and then it rains. I sit down to write and I my mind goes blank.

    This is a great post because now its Really got me thinking. At first I couldn’t think of any, but now…

    • Monica, Henry too? What is it with the furry friends and their “mom just put on pajamas, lets go out to pee?” Argh! The car being washed made me chuckle because back when I was living in the Caribbean, that always happened! I’m glad this post got you to brainstorm, chica! You had great ones! :)

  11. for every time I get a warning on my phone – new email, only to find out -junk, another junk, I should really turn off that option, or get rid of the smart phone all together.

    • bwhahaha! Get rid of the smart phone all together, lady! These are the moments that make me glad to have a cell phone the size of a walkie talkie! No need to worry about checking email! hee hee! :)

  12. If I had a dime for every time I heard a really cheesy tune on the radio and ended up humming it for the rest of the day…

    If I had a dime for embarking on the telling of a joke that requires comedic timing and realizing half way through I’m going to blow it….definately….

    • Ian, hello! What is it with cheesy tunes and their ability to embed themselves into our brain and control us at will? As for the jokes, that’s exactly why I don’t tell any! hee hee! :)

    • LW, you’re welcome! And I second you on the “Mommy” bit and the Son’s already 20! I don’t know what these kids would do without us! :)

  13. If I had a dime for every time – Bella”s blog made me laugh / feel good about my day / rediscover simple things in life and walk away smiling … I would be a fricken (someone used that word above and I like it!) MILLIONAIRE :)
    xox

    • Aw, lady, thank you! I’m over the moon that this wee blog makes you laugh! And I love that you’d be a millionaire in rediscovering the simple things in life. How cool are you! Hugs for you! :)

    • Kirstin Marie, I think your fiance is a lot like the Significant Other in that regard. And between you and me, I think they’re a little jealous of the blog! hee hee! :)

  14. Ah Bella,

    Ain’t life a Biatch? Even in your agitation, you are are funny :). As I sit here waiting for news on my work truck which thanks to the recent snowfall is gainfully engaged but now overheating. We are hoping she just needs antifreeze, I SO needed this laugh.

    - If I had a dime for every time my cat screamed at me mercilessly for treats.
    - If I had a dime for every time I asked my SO NOT to leave stuff on the kitchen counter.
    - If I had a dime for every time I cursed my pc since she’s running slow, fighting a virus, or fending off identity thieves. Apparently, she is overwrought, like most women, at the continuous need for multi-tasking.
    - If I had a dime for every time my mother has embarrassed me with age-inappropriate antics (like today’s FB posted bikini spread)
    - If I had a dime for every time I cursed the mailman. For God’s sake, can he bring anything but bills?
    - If I had a dime for the stupidity of random strangers who seem intent on besieging me everywhere, on-line and off….

    I’d be rich like Dave Chappelle and likely tell the whole world to… ;)

    Thank you for the inspiration, I think I may use this as a springboard for a follow-up post lol.

    Good luck with your hunt for a new laptop!

    • bwhahaha! Coco, and I needed the laugh your comment provided! Your mom and her Facebook bikini spread! Oh, Lord! And here I thought it was us giving our kids a hard time! hee hee! I love your, “If I had a dime…”! And I’m tickled pink that you would use this post as a springboard for anything you want to cook up. :)

  15. I hear you on keeping the topics light. Recently, I said that very thing, so I hope to remain true to my word for at least a couple of weeks. :-)

    I’d be rich for all the times I’ve said I’d stay organized and didn’t. Or like today, saying I was going to stop eating something I shouldn’t eat and kept right at it. I hate that more than being disorganized.

    • Totsy, every now and then, I believe we need a breather from the hot and heavy topics. Don’t get me wrong, I love the discussion, but light hearted subjects are a good way to exhale. I hear you on the trials of being disorganized. Every day I promise to get my act together and every night I’m still running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Sigh. Maybe we should get iPads. They say those things keep you in sync with everything that goes on! :)

  16. I am with you! I have been sharing a laptop with my husband because my power cord died. It has seriously cramped my online time!

    It is not as expensive as a motherboard — thank God — but I won’t have enough money until Thursday to order another one which means with shipping two more weeks without a laptop — AARGH!

    Good luck.
    :-)
    Traci

    • Hello Traci! I’m glad your issue was easier to resolve. Sharing really does reduce the time we’re able to get our Internet fix. Trust me, I’m dying! Thanks for letting me know there’s others out there who share my pain. :)

  17. Don’t curse the mailman. He/she didn’t create the bills. LOL That being said, oh Mother! Not the motherboard! One month after I got my new HP the motherboard was recalled. Things still aren’t right. I don’t think all of my codes were transferred to the new motherboard numbber. Yikes. Good luck with that.

    • Renee, I can’t believe HP just didn’t provide a replacement laptop. I don’t like their products at all. The Son had a Dell that was nice and fast–a real workhorse, but he did use it round the clock. Thank you for your well wishes and I hope your laptop is up to speed soon! :)

  18. If I had a dime for .
    every time I went window shopping and did all but window shopping :P
    and every time I wanted to write and didn’t ..

    and thanks B for checking on me ..life has been busy but good and therefore no complains/regrets for not being around ..However the new year will see a better , albeit slightly more regular blogger or so I tell myself !
    Hope things are good at your end too .. xoxo

    • Priya, I’ve missed you! I’m glad to read that your absence from your blog has not been a result of something being wrong. I miss your blog posts! I’m very much looking forward to seeing what you have in store for us! Drop by more, girl! XOXO :)

  19. Hahaha, Bella, you probably shouldn’t add baking soda to recipes that call for baking powder. I mean, you can. There’s nothing wrong with baking soda. But if you want to make sure your cake actually rises, you should probably really use baking powder. :)

    Sorry to hear about your laptop misery. A lot of people seem to have problems with their laptops lately. Within two weeks I’ve heard of five people (including you and myself) having trouble with their laptops. The battery of my laptop doesn’t work anymore so I need to use the power chord instead (and what’s the point of laptop if you can only use it next to a socket?).

    • Sabrina, is this the reason my cakes never rise and look flat as a pancake? Oh dear. I knew no good could come of confusing the two “baking” ingredients. :) I feel your pain regarding the cable. This happened to the Significant Other and for a time, we too were sharing. Grief. Thank goodness he only uses his in the early evening. :)

    • Corinne, I love it when you comment and I miss you when you don’t! However, I understand that you don’t always have the time. I’m just grateful you drop by and read what I write. Thank you! Hugs! :)

  20. Oh goodness, I’m SO sorry to hear about your laptop…gosh, that’s happened to me too..too many times unfortunately and expensive doesn’t say enough.

    If I had a dime for every time I heard the words, “Shirley, you must be joking…” from the movie Airplane, I’d have money for an airplane! : ) Ha!

    Take good care Bella..it is always so great to see your wonderful visit to my blog! : )

    • Shirley, if I had a dime for each time I look at one of your illustration and think, how I wish I could draw like that! It’s always a pleasure to drop by your place and be blown away by your artistic ability. I love, love, love your illustrations! :)

  21. . . . for every morning I’ve said “I need a new pillow” to my stiff, sore neck, I could afford twelve by now
    . . . for every time I’m told I have a “strong handshake,” I could afford to stop interviewing for new positions
    . . . for every time I’ve literally followed CKP’s trail over the course of the day, picking up after him when I get home – I could afford a maid
    . . . for every time I read comments on your blog and echo them in my head, but don’t say a word [see Corinne Rodrigues comment above] I could afford to go meet you for coffee sometime

    Do they not have a Craigslist-type classifieds where you are, or is it just awful? The very laptop I’m typing on now is going to Craigslist pretty soon, if I can’t find it a good home at the church or with someone’s desperate kid in college. It’ll be cheap because it was a cheap Compaq to start with, and is now a two-year-old cheap Compaq whose charger won’t charge [thus, a laptop tethered to an outlet], but I’ve got to believe you can find something like this — used, but worth using til you cash in on all those dimes:)

    Oh, I so wish you luck!

    • Jayca, your comment just made me smile! And it’s good to know you ladies are reading even if you don’t always comment. I love that you stop by! I hear you and I second you on the pillow, the strong handshake and the picking up. Sigh. We could both be rich ladies by now! I don’t know if they have the Craiglist but I’m sure if they don’t, they have some equivalent. I’m just a little wary of buying a used computer. Something tells me it’s not going to last very long. At this point, I’m looking at something relatively cheap but that won’t be slow as a slug. Thanks for the well wishes, lady! I’ll keep you posted! :)

  22. . . . for every load of laundry I’ve done.(And dishes, and dusting and vacuuming)
    . . . for every dog I’ve had to walk (And they ARE big dogs!)
    . . . for every time I’ve told my husby, “Well they’re just lucky to have you in that office. That’s all I can say!”
    . . . and for every time you tell me exactly what I need to hear!
    Thank you, by the way!!! :)

    • Diane, I love when you comment! You make me laugh and make my day with your kind words! You have all my admiration for walking your big dogs. That takes some doing and it’s definitely not for the faint of heart! I love your “If I had a dime..”! I read the laundry and cleaning one and said, “Oh my God, yes!” :)

    • Kelly, my nana used to say you get one helping of joy but endless amounts of tragedy! It sounds like your computer is acting up as well. Thank goodness you’re backing up. The Son did not back up any of his files and now we have to pay an arm and a leg if he wants to retrieve them. Dear Lord. We need a miracle! :)

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