As I sat in the middle of three loads of laundry that no one had bothered to fold, much less put away, the haunting notes of my girl Mary J. Blige kept me company.
It wasn’t until I had folded boxer number twenty five that I heard Mary croon, “You can’t hold a good woman down.” Really, Mary, really?
As I look back on life’s passed up opportunities, the times I could’ve done this, could’ve been that, I can certainly affirm that you can indeed hold a good woman down. I’ve lost track of just how many times I’ve been held down.
Whether you choose to remain in the choke hold however, well, that’s a different story. But are there things, circumstances, events, and people that can in fact hold a good woman down? Hell yeah. However, if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: It doesn’t help to struggle. As a matter of fact, struggling just makes it worse.
Instead, any smart woman is better served by playing dead. Very much like when you’re in the woods and happen to come across a bear. If you run, you’re dead. If you try full hand to hand combat, you’re dead. But if you play dead? Well, lets just say you have a better chance of staying undead.
For those of you wondering just who or what can hold a good woman down, allow me to enlighten you. Bad relationships hold a good woman down. Children hold a good woman down. Debt holds a good woman down. A lack of a college degree holds a good woman down. Racism holds a good woman down. An ignorant society who still in this day and age believes it’s okay for a woman to get paid less than a man even though she does double the work, holds a good woman down. I’d venture to say, the list of who and what can hold a good woman down is endless.
However, bitching without trying to come up with answers or solutions, is just that, bitching. I believe it’s time to identify how to break free from being pinned to the mat. Or more importantly, it’s time to brain storm how to prevent from being pinned in the first place.
For all those sisters who are in the back breaker horizontal hold, do not fret. You can break free. You can dominate your circumstances or your opponent. It just takes a little strategy, a little patience and the ability to play dead. Hang in there. Help is not on the way but that doesn’t mean you can’t break free.
Maybe that’s what Mary means when she says “You can’t hold a good woman down.” Maybe what she’s trying to say is that just because we may be down at this moment, it doesn’t mean we’re going to stay this way forever.
And now, back to laundry and playing dead.