Me: I’m going to need some money for something I have to do.
Significant Other: Yeah, like what?
Me: Oh, just something.
Significant Other: I am not making any more deposits in your “Help me get liposuction” account.
Me: I want to go to Italy.
Significant Other: What the hell for?
Me: I’m taking Julia Robert’s advice.
Significant Other: Of eating all the pizza you want and buying bigger pants?
Me: No, smart ass. To learn the art of “Dolce Far Niente.”
Significant Other: Are you kidding me? Why can’t you learn how to do nothing here?
Me: Because it’s an Italian thing.
Significant Other: So is pizza but when we want some, we call Domino’s.
Me: (Screaming) I want to learn how to “Dolce Far Niente!”
Significant Other: Next you’ll be telling me you want to go to India to ride an elephant.
Me: I was going to say Bali, so I can sleep with Javier Bardem. Besides, Julia never rode the elephant.
Significant Other: Whatever. I want to go to go to Australia so I can dive in the Great Barrier Reef.
Me: Why can’t you snorkel in the tub instead?
Significant Other: I see you got my point.
Me: I guess I could “Dolce Far Niente” here.
Significant Other: Why don’t you cook something Italian instead?