On Sunday I accompanied the Significant Other to a birthday party. One of his friends, a bachelor not by choice, was celebrating the fact that he was turning 41. After pushing past the judgemental attitude of “How lame, who celebrates birthday parties after the age of five,, I got dressed and we headed out the door.
Well, what I thought was going to be a snooze fest turned into quite an enlightening experience as the party dwindled down to a mere seven people. I sat in the middle of five eligible bachelors all who wanted to know the same thing: “What do women want?”
Needless to say, none of the answers I produced provided any of these men with any sense of comfort.
They didn’t want to hear that women can be as shallow as men and that before any spiritual, intellectual and emotional connections are made, we have to be sucked in by the eye candy.
Come on, ladies, you know it’s true.
Before we even give a man the time of day we have to be attracted to something on his person.
At times that can be his hair, his teeth, the color of his eyes, or even the way his ass fills his jeans, but we are and can be, just as shallow as our counterparts.
However, I digress.
Five sets of eyes, Significant Other’s not included, looked at me intently as they waited for an acceptable answer.
I stopped to consider what would make for an intelligent answer.
An answer that not only spoke the truth, but that would in turn give these men hope; to make them feel like some day they would find a woman who could look past their bald heads, thin frames/pot bellies, and discover the inner handsomeness that resided in each and every one of them.
One of them wanted to know, “Why do women always claim to be attracted to a man with a sense of humor when they won’t even give us the chance to show it to them? The minute I walk up to a woman and say, ‘I’m a funny guy, would you like to know me?’ I get shot down and told to get lost.”
Seriously, what could I possibly tell this dejected soul that would make him feel that somewhere there exists a noble spirit capable of giving him the opportunity to be a comedian?
And then I thought, I’ll put it out there. I’ll create awareness to the fact that perhaps many single women are alone because they’re too demanding.
Yes, we continue to throw back into the pond those we consider “frogs” without giving them the chance to show us they can be princes.
We make demands that can only be filled by non-existing gods that only live inside our heads.
We have expectations that are unrealistic, farfetched, and “non-accomplishable”.
However, I did not discuss these details. Instead, I attempted to end the conversation on a hopeful note as I explained how at times we ladies need a little nudge.
I told them that if they were rejected by one of the members of the sisterhood, they were not to turn around and walk away calmly.
Instead, they were to tap the woman on the shoulder once again and say, “Really? Just like that? I don’t even get the chance to show you I’m charming? Won’t you please allow me to demonstrate what a likeable guy I can be?”
Perhaps, just perhaps, this would pique the woman’s curiosity to the point where she would reconsider. And as a result, allow herself to actually meet a guy who can be really funny.
What say you, ladies, isn’t it time we stopped looking for perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect careers, and perfect financial incomes and started focusing on what really counts a the end of the day?
Funny may not land you a home on Wisteria Lane, but I’m confident it will keep you in “Hysteria” fits of laughter.
And so I declare today, “Give an ugly guy a break” day.
Do it cause it’s kind, do it for the clichéd reason that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” but more importantly, do it because you might surprise yourself.
The guy who may not look like a model, may just be the guy you refuse to let go of.
Why? Because he makes you laugh. Because he makes you feel special. Because he’s appreciative of your beauty. Because he’s grateful and generous. Because…you know what I mean.