Okay, I know what you’re thinking–enough with the Roxy posts.
But really, I just have to share this with you.
Why? Because while our little furry friend is so cute you want to eat her up with a spoon, she also has a little Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde going on.
Roxy says, “Don’t we all?”
However, that’s not the point.
What is important is how Edward, affectionately known as Eddie, met his demise.
Eddie’s short life timeline:
Eddie, purchased on December 24, 2010, left his home, the pet store, at 1300 hours.
Eddie was wrapped lovingly and given to Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 10:00.
Eddie was nuzzled and loved by Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 10:05.
Eddie was put away while members of the family went out at 10:30.
Eddie was put to bed with Roxy on December 25, 2010 at 21:00.
Eddie was removed from Roxy’s custody and placed on the staircase until damage to his person could be assessed at 21:45.
Eddie was cunningly retrieved by Roxy at 22:00.
Eddie is discovered by Bella, laying in a pool of his own rubber and unconscious at 22:30.
Eddie is declared dead at 22:31.
A perimeter is set up to keep onlookers out of the crime scene at 22:32.
Bella, acting as CSI investigator, performs a walk through and photographs the scene at 22:35.
Bella, acting as coroner investigator, establishes Eddie’s approximate time and cause of death at 22:40.
Bella, acting as coroner, allows Significant Other to take Eddie away at 22:41.
Suspects are questioned regarding incident at 22:43.
Roxy attempts to flee the scene of the crime and thus assumes culpability for the tragedy at 22:45.
Roxy is apprehended and given a time out at 22:46.
Roxy is allowed to leave time out area at 22:48.
Significant Other is placed on time out for allowing the spirit of stupidity to possess him at 22:50.
Eddie’s remains are disposed of at 22:55.