How deep is my love?

I feel very strongly about one of my relationships.

I feel so strongly that I will stab anyone or anything that tries to come between us.

That’s how seriously I take this commitment.

Anyone who dares to meddle better be ready to suffer the consequences.

Why? Because this relationship is a lifer, a keeper, a forever and ever union.

His name is Coffee, also known as java, joe, café, daily grind, brain juice, mud, murk, plasma, and warmer upper.

My affair with Coffee started at the age of five. Yes, people, five. (That’s what happens when you have a Spanish mother who thinks bread and butter dipped in a cup of java is a perfectly acceptable breakfast.)

By the age of eight coffee was my best friend.

At the age of ten I was doing two shots of espresso.

By fifteen I would kick anyone’s ass who said “eXpresso” instead of “eSpresso.”

In college, my relationship with coffee deepened to the point that it became my lifeline.

It completed me.

It gave me the strength, the motivation, and the will to stay awake and sane through a “so-boring-I-want-to-slash-my-veins” university course called “Logic.”

It also acted as a cheap appetite suppressant and diuretic.

Coffee was my constant through failed friendships, failed relationships, and failed marriages.

It was my Lamaze buddy when I went into labor and it was what I toasted with the day my son was born.

It’s kept me company through bad times, good times, sad times, and “I’m walking to the edge of the ledge and I think I might jump” times.

Coffee is most definitely number one on my list of “Five things I must have if I land on a deserted island,” and I want it to be the last thing I drink right before I croak.

If I didn’t have money for coffee, I would borrow, beg or steal and not necessarily in that order.

If forced to give up either sex or coffee, I would most definitely give up sex. I kid you not.

More importantly, I would have an affair with Juan Valdez in a heartbeat if he promised to give me a lifelong supply of Columbian coffee.

If I wasn’t able to drink coffee, I would be very sad. I wouldn’t be able to write or blog. I would fall into a deep depression. Or I might get really angry and cranky and want to kick everyone’s ass.

Just wanted all of you to know this.

So you don’t mess with my coffee.

I mean, I’m just saying.

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19 thoughts on “How deep is my love?

  1. My mom puts tea in the baby bottles. She put it my kids bottles whenever i wasn’t looking. My nephew once threw his bottle at his other grandmother when she didn’t understand why he wouldn’t drink plain milk, and kept demanding “hot T”! Gotta love old school mums.

    Saw you got featured on blogging women, Congrats!

  2. Ah, a love affair with coffee! This was pretty awesome and frightening at the same time. ;-)
    Tell me– what’s your favorite thing to order from Starbucks? What’s your favorite drip coffee?

    1. Hi Louise! I’ll tell you what I won’t order from Starbucks…chai latte or lattes! The chai cause it’s way too sweet and the latte cause it’s not strong enough. The last time I actually ordered a venti latte, I took it back cause it tasted like boiled milk with just a hint of coffee color. After paying almost four bucks for it, the cheeky barista told me I had to pay extra if I wanted an extra shot of espresso. Pay extra? Are you kidding me? Since then I just order the house coffee or whatever flavor of the month they’re featuring. My favorite drip coffee would be “Yaucono Selecto.” It hails from the island of Puerto Rico in the Caribbean and it is delicious! I’ve also been dying to have Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee since it’s been like forever since I last tried it but it’s so darn expensive! I can only go into the coffee shop where they sell it, take a whiff of the bag and sigh. :(
      Someday….

  3. I didn’t like coffee until I had this espresso thingie with raspberries and white chocolate. I don’t even know what it was. But it was good.

  4. Coffee ..oooh how I am craving for it right now ..but what a lovely post ..esp the part you write ” I toasted with it the day my son was born “.. a smile and a sigh ! Btw you know what ..hubs says making awesome coffee is one of my ‘ few’ talents .. and one of the ‘ few ‘ times I agree with him :P
    Maybe someday I can whip up some for you ..that you’ll come back knocking for more is my guarantee :)

    1. Hubs doesn’t know anything…I’m sure making coffee is one of your MANY talents and yes, I will hold you to that fabulous cup of coffee someday!

  5. I hear you!
    Coffee is just one of those small wondrous socially acceptable drugs that can be amazing.
    I can also be awful if you find yourself in a sub-par diner or a relatives house or dunkin donuts.

    1. So true, Liddie, but fortunately that’s not always the case for me. My sisters both make a mean cup of coffee that would put most coffee houses to shame!

  6. Oh, I was really touched by this long last Love Story! ;DD
    And I must to say that Coffee is everywhere, here in Spain: everybody drinks espresso in every little bar/coffee house/pub, so it’s impossible to avoid drinking lots of it!, but I’m trying to just enjoy two cups a day!
    You make me laugh once more!
    besos!

    1. Señora Allnut, thank you for your lovely comment! I’m afraid that if all I drank was two cups of coffee a day, my migraine withdrawal would kick in and they’d have to cart me off to a mental institution! :)

  7. Nena, if there were no more coffee on the planet I’d rather be dead…I attribute staying sane during most of life’s conflicts because of it….a cigarette acompanied by un cafecito….pure heaven.

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