Who’s afraid of that ghost?

cc licensed flickr photo shared by Luodanli

His name is Dennis. He’s been with us for seventeen years.

The other night, the Son informed me that when he moves out, he plans on taking Dennis with him.

My reaction?

Get your own poltergeist.

So by now I’m sure half, if not all of you, are starting to think the elevator’s not stopping on the top floor.

But before you judge me, hear me out.

Just for a minute I want you to think of how many times you’ve misplaced things; looked for them for days.

And on the day you stop looking, they appear, as if by magic.

Car keys, house keys, jewelry, money, or even a favorite pair of running shoes.

It could be anything.

Now think of how many times you’ve heard weird noises, and I don’t mean someone whispering “Oooooo” in your ear.

I mean, things falling, water running in the sink, or doors slamming, even though there’s no one in the home at the time but you.

If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you have a Dennis living in your home.

So what’s my Dennis like?

Mischievous, deaf, brave, and forgetful.

I have no idea what he looks like, but I do know he likes to take things, returns them only when he’s good and ready and does not comply with my loud shrieks of “Give me the damn keys, now!”

Lately he’s taken on the endeavor of tormenting Roxy.

Twice this week I have walked in on her barking her ass off to nothing but thin air.

It’s after I holler, “Dennis, play nice!” that poor Roxy is able to exhale and settle down.

For the most part Dennis is good at returning what he “borrows,” but we have yet to recover two passports, a gold bracelet, a pair of tights, and a pink flash drive.

This makes me wonder if Dennis might be a crossdresser who’s posting stolen files from a WiFi cafe in Switzerland.

However, what I do know about Dennis is that he won’t leave me.

When the Daughter moved out, she extended an invite for him to follow her.

He declined by refusing to make an appearance until she and all her belongings had exited the building.

The other night when he heard the son’s desire to have him as a roommate, I sensed his uneasiness.

He’s too courteous to say no, but smart enough to know his survival depends on remaining with the alpha. (That would be me, in case you’re wondering.)

Not to mention other perks which include travel, round the clock coffee aroma, and my habitual tendency of forgetting where I put everything.

(This last part accounting for half the fun of living in Casa Bella)

So there you have it.

Readers, meet Dennis. Dennis, meet Readers.

Now who else has a poltergeist they want to introduce to society?


21 thoughts on “Who’s afraid of that ghost?

    1. He is all that, and a bag of chips, Danielle. Now isn’t it time you got yourself a Dennis? Perhaps you can bring one back from London? With a Brit accent no less! :)

  1. “A crossdresser who’s posting stolen files from a WiFi cafe in Switzerland.”- That has got to be the best line of the day ..
    And even though I don’t have a name , I’m pretty sure the like of Dennis always stays somewhere close coz I’m always losing stuff only to find it magically appear ..but oh life would be half as busy ( consider the time spent in finding lost things ) if it weren’t for him ;-) :-D

  2. If only my poltergeist is half as cute as Dennis sounds but my poltergeist is like a brewing cauldron of evil waiting and watching so that his mean-ness can be unleashed, his jealousy can spew forth and soak me with it.

    1. Jann, Dennis took my passport and the Son’s and it cost us a pretty penny to have them replaced. Can you believe he never returned them?

    1. Lyddie, I gave up on those years ago. I had to get them replaced soon after I discovered they had gone MIA since we had to travel a few months later!

  3. Very, very cute! I know Dennis and he can be very mean at times and even though he decided to stay with you, I think he sent one of his relatives with me LOL….

  4. Fabulous! :-) One of my frequent visitors is my great-grandmother on my mother’s side, who I never met. She’s made herself known to me for as long as I can remember, and I know she’s present when I smell bread baking in my house – and I’m not baking bread. Very comforting. I’ve also had an aunt visit me. I was baking cookies last Christmas, and suddenly a familiar perfume filled my kitchen. I knew almost immediately who wore that perfume; knew who had stopped by to see what I was up to, and perhaps lend a hand.

    Then, there are the “regulars;” those who actually reside here – or try to. Their behavior dictates how long they stay. Yelling “HELLO” in my ear as I’m falling asleep, or tickling my feet or the calf of my leg is not okay. Causing a cacophony of loud cracks and pops, or pacing loudly up and down the creak-spiked hallway in the middle of the night, is not okay. They know this.

    When they get too boisterous, I oust them; gently so. They know they can come back when they’ve calmed down.

    1. Hot Coco, I love it! It’s incredible how we can feel their presence, eh! Dennis has been with us for decades. Hell, he’s a member of the family who even travels with us! I love how you oust them gently, only to let them back in when they’ve collected themselves. Brilliant! :)

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