Can you really hold a good woman down?

Get your own free Blogoversary button!

I don’t know if anybody has noticed that I’ve included a nifty, little widget that counts down the days to my blog’s birthday.

According to this timer, in just fifteen days I will reach the mark of having blogged for an entire year.

It’s funny, cause it feels like only yesterday when I was writing my first post.

In tribute to my upcoming “blogoversary,” I thought it would be nice to share that very post with all of you.

Because only one person commented, (and more than likely the only person reading at the time!) I doubt any of you have had the opportunity to read it.

So what do you think? Would you like to see what my very first post looked like?

I should warn you, it’s impassioned and a bit raw.

However, it does show the side of me that loves to rally for female empowerment, justice, equality, assertiveness, and above all, perseverance at all costs.

I would be grateful if you would have a read and tell me what you think.

After all, what you think matters to me!

Thank you, ladies!


cc licensed flickr photo shared by maury.mccown

Can you really hold a good woman down?

As I sat in the middle of three loads of laundry that no one had bothered to fold, the haunting notes of my girl Mary J. Blige kept me company.

It wasn’t until I had folded boxer number twenty-five that I heard Mary croon, “You can’t hold a good woman down.”

Really, Mary, really?

As I look back on life’s passed up opportunities, the times I would’ve done this, would’ve been that, I can certainly relate to the fact that you can indeed hold a good woman down.

I for one, have lost track of just how many times I’ve been held down.

However, whether you choose to stay in the choke hold, well, that’s a different story.

But back to the question.

Are there things, circumstances, events, and people who can in fact hold a good woman down?

Hell yeah.

However, if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: It doesn’t help to struggle.

As a matter of fact, struggling makes it worse.

Instead, any smart woman is better served by playing dead;very much like when you’re in the woods and happen to come across a bear.

If you run, you’re dead.

If you try full hand to hand combat, you’re dead.

But if you play dead?

Well, lets just say you have a better chance of staying undead.

For those of you wondering just who or what can hold a good woman down, allow me to cite some examples.

Bad relationships hold a good woman down. Children hold a good woman down. Debt holds a good woman down. A lack of a college education holds a good woman down. Racism holds a good woman down. An ignorant society who still believes it’s okay for a woman to get paid less than a man even though she does double the work, holds a good woman down.

I’d venture to say, the list of who and what can hold a good woman down is endless.

However, bitching without trying to come up with answers or solutions, is just that, bitching.

I believe it’s time to identify how to break free from being pinned to the mat.

Or more importantly, it’s time to brain storm in how to prevent from being pinned in the first place.

For all those sisters who are in the back breaker horizontal hold, do not fret.

You can break free.

You can dominate your circumstances or your opponent.

It just takes a little strategy, a little patience and the ability to play dead.

Hang in there.

Help is not on the way but that doesn’t mean you can’t break free.

Maybe that’s what Mary means when she says “You can’t hold a good woman down.”

Maybe what she’s trying to say is that just because we may be down at this moment, it doesn’t mean we’re going to stay this way forever.

And now, back to laundry and playing dead.

Note: I’m linking up to Heidi’s blog, Me As A Mother. Won’t you check it out, please?
Oh Sh*tz!


24 thoughts on “Can you really hold a good woman down?

  1. So much of what holds us down is in our own heads.

    *”I’ve gotta be a good girl and have dinner on the table at 6:30.”

    *”I’ve gotta be a good girl and do all the laundry.” (Ahem, Bella)

    *I’ve gotta be a good girl and make the beds.”

    And so on.

    I say: Get that “gotta be a good girl” voice out of your head! Go out and do whatever it is you’re dying to do instead. Watch as someone else from the family steps up to do those boring chores you’ve stopped doin’.

  2. Oh Bella, this is just what I needed to hear today. I am currently playing dead my ownself. Rough day, you see. Thank you for linking up; this is perfect.

  3. 1. I love MJ 2. I love that particular song to pieces. 3. I love your first post. I’m so glad i found you. Congrats on your upcoming anniversary. Where’s the party? I’ll bring my MJ cd’s.

    1. hee hee! If only virtual dance parties were a possibility! Or maybe they are and I’m still clueless in that regard. In any case, how cool would that be! :)

  4. A heartfelt thank you from me to you, sweetheart. I am really moved by your post, it really spoke to where I am in my life right now. Bella, you are wonderful. I <3 you. I really want to feature you, would you be interested? Let me know if you are. Big hugs to you and congrats on your blogoversary xx

    1. Ah, Anika, I am honored! It would be a privilege to be featured in your blog! Let me know what I have to do! You realize you have contributed to my daily dose of tickled pink moments, don’t you? :)

    1. We are just going to have to syncronize our wathces, turn up the volume and get on skype, or we could do a dance-chat-along lol hugs all around!

  5. Hi… found you through Hiedi’s blog. Glad to know I am not the only one that has those days… nothing you do goes right and seems like the harder you try – the worse things can get.

  6. I hear this. I’ve only recently learned how important it is for us women to look out for ourselves. We’re very quick to look out for each other as members of the sisterhood, but we forget to ‘have our own back’ so to speak. I’m really glad that others realize the importance of this, too. Great post, especially for an inaugural one.

    1. Thank you, Deana! I wholeheartedly agree. The sisterhood is long in coming in having each other’s backs. I wonder why that is…

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