One more day to go and I wanted to share an early post that I wrote about something we’re all too familiar with–our emotional state; more importantly, anger.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but there are times when only using every tool in my toolbox is what prevents me from losing whatever vestige of sanity I may have left.
In the past it’s served as a highly charged motivator but as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that it can also drain me of most of my energy.
Keep that in mind as you read the post titled,
Who’s angry now?
A week ago, someone I hold very dear called to ask for my advice.
She explained that she’s angry all the time and asked if I had any suggestions to prevent her from lashing out all the time.
Rather than tell her the truth of how some of us are angry all the time and do little, if anything, to stifle our anger, I told her there was something she could do.
It was what I’d been doing for the past eight years; an idea taken from a movie that had an impact in my life at the time.
I told her that whenever someone made her angry, she should throw her head back, laugh a little laugh and say something silly.
My phrase of choice was “I never did mind the hiccups.”
Well, I don’t know if she took my advice or not, but I thought I’d share with all of you how valuable this strategy is.
Imagine yourself in a heated discussion with a neighbor, a neighbor who’s standing in the middle of the road screaming at the top of her lungs, “If anyone has dog poop in their yard, it belongs to ____.” (Insert your dog’s name here).
She’s screaming so loudly that people are starting to open their doors to see what the ruckus is about.
Imagine now how, instead of charging her like a bull running through the streets of Pamplona, you relax your stance, pull back your shoulders, throw back your head, shake your hair and say in a throaty voice for all to hear “I never did mind the hiccups.”
Tell me that doesn’t beat being charged with assault and battery and/or being dragged away in a squad car.
Yes people, there’s beauty in being able to disarm your opponent, adversary, nemesis, call him or her what you will, with a smirk, good body posture and a catchy phrase.
And not only does it keep your blood pressure from skyrocketing, it soothes the soul.
Lastly, I’m convinced that if more of us battled anger with silly words, we’d be happier people.
There would be more laughing at others and less heart attacks.
And when I say laughing at others, this works both ways.
Because, not only are you laughing at the person who’s making you angry, anyone looking at you may be laughing as well.
How, you ask?
Your husband has just turned on his heel and shouted, “No, I will not pay for another Coach purse, only to have it meet its untimely demise at the bottom of your closet.” (Not that I like Coach purses. I find them hideous.) But you get the point.
But I digress.
As your man is about to turn and leave you standing in front of the Coach store, you use your “outside” voice to say, “I never did mind the hiccups.”
As he makes his way to the parking lot, you follow in hot pursuit and like a parrot repeat, “I never did mind the hiccups.”
As he gets in the car and flips you off, you murmur, “I never did mind the hiccups.”
Fast forward an hour later and yes, you’re walking home, or trying to hitch a ride from any truck driver passing you on the highway, but you’ve managed to avoid a scene.
You have not caved to anger and more importantly, you’ve given the people in the parking lot the opportunity to laugh their asses off.
You’ve paid it forward.
You’ve done your good deed for the day AND you’ve beaten anger in the process.
Who cares if you had to run half a mile after your significant other’s speeding car screaming, “I never did mind the hiccups.”
The question is, who’s angry now?
Si, amigos, follow my advice and try it some time.
All you need is your own catchy phrase and the courage to use it.
Just remember, don’t use mine.