Who says having a big butt is a bad thing?


cc licensed flickr photo shared by Dawn Ashley

As the Significant Other and I sat in an outdoor terrace having lunch today, I noticed how this also provided us with the opportunity to people watch.

However, this pleasurable activity quickly turned into an anxiety producing venture as I realized that everywhere I looked, there were women with teeny weeny butts.

Yes, ladies, teeny weeny butts.

As I glanced down at my ginormous butt, insecurity started to rear its ugly head.

However, this time I was strong and managed to stuff critical Bella back in the box before my self-esteem went south.

Why?

Because I’m sick of making excuses for the size of my ass.

It’s genetics.

It’s the cheap underwear I’m wearing.

I’m bloated and yes, so is my ass.

It’s these damn jeans!

You name it, I’ve used it to justify the size of my ass.

But no more.

Ignoring the extensive amount of teeny weeny butts around us, I recalled that thankfully, a “curvy” revolution is taking place.

Everywhere we look, curvaceous women are being featured in magazines, ad campaigns, and even on the catwalk.

And it’s about time.

It’s time we stop feeling the need to constraint, minimize, imprison, and camouflage our asses when the likes of JLo, Beyonce and Vida Guerra proudly strut theirs.

And lets not forget that annoying Kardashian woman, who, when the good Lord was doling out helpings of booty, went up to get second AND third helpings.

Na uh. Enough already.

Personally, I’m done.

Why?

Because at the end of the day, the efforts to camouflage my ass are so tiring and subject me to so much stress, that for the past month I’ve had a recurring nightmare dream.

In my nightmare dream, it appears I’ve lost lost consciousness as a result of being encased in a pair of butt-compressing underpants, yet I’ve retained my hearing.

This is what I hear:

Paramedic 1: “Victim appears to have lost consciousness. Breathing is short, quick, and shallow. Heartbeat erratic. Muscles of the rib cage, diaphragm, neck and abdomen seem to be constricted. Proceeding to remove garments.”

Me (still unconscious): “God, no! I’m wearing you know what!”

Paramedic 1: “Having trouble here. In need of assistance.”

Paramedic 2: “Hell, Frank, she’s wearing you know what.”

Paramedic 1: “We don’t get paid enough for this.”

Paramedic 2 on the radio, for all the world to hear: “Requesting further assistance. And bring the hydraulic shears. She’s wearing Spanx.”

Me: Kill me, God. Kill me now.

Seriously, my sisters, I am not going down like that.

So today, even when surrounded by teeny weeny butts, I’m appealing to all big bottom women the world over to say, “This is the way we’re meant to be. We are strong. We are bold. We are invincible. And this may be due to the size of our asses.”

Yes, you heard right.

A group of UK researchers has found that having a large derriere and thighs can be healthy.

It appears people with big bums are less prone to develop Type 2 Diabetes and cardiovascular disease.

I kid you not.

So ladies, rock those jeans any way you like and flaunt the size of your ass.

Happy Easter!

Advertisements

34 thoughts on “Who says having a big butt is a bad thing?

  1. I am in violent agreement with you. I say if you’ve got it flaunt it. My favorite skirts and jeans take advantage of my voluptuous bum. Recently,I saw an advetisement for bum enhancers for those with flat bums. Totally remendis me of the Dr. Seuss classic, The Sneetches.

    1. Neela, The Sneetches… that’s hysterical! They have the big bellys and flat little bums! And kudos for flaunting what you’ve got! :)

  2. Meant to have big (or teeny weeny, or any other size) bottoms? I doubt it. But I fail to see the shape of someone’s body as a problem; hey, it’s your body, the only one you’ve got, why wouldn’t you love it and enjoy it?

    1. Ivana, when I say “we are meant to be this way,” I’m actually referring to the fact that everyone is perfect just the way they are. However, not everyone sees it that way, or at least, not all the time. There are times when I love the size of my bottom and other times, like when I can’t find jeans that fit right, that I curse it. However, I am striving for absolute body image confidence. Right now, it’s a work in progress, but I’m confident I’ll get there! :)

  3. I have always said…..”BOB”. BIG OPRAH BUTT. That is right…the junk in my trunk has Oprah to thank. But, I think we all can thank Oprah for something. LOL!

    Unfortunately, my big butt did not protect me from pre-diabetes. Just found out this week, so I am now on a diet and meds. Bah! I actually like my body the way it is, but I need to be healthy for my family.

    Don’t let insecure Bella make you feel bad, you are beautiful!

    1. Georgia, thank you for that! I’m glad you’re on the path to stay healthy, which is the most important thing! And thanks to you, I’ve now christened my butt BOB. Love it! :)

  4. Bella, I think that the trouble finding jeans that fits right is universal. Or at least it always exists where I live, they seem to make jeans for… Well, I don’t know what for, but not for humans, no matter your size.

    And anyway, I think you look gorgeous.

    1. Ivana, thank you for making my day! Now I feel like singing the song, “I feel pretty!” :) And I’m relieved I’m not alone in the quest to find jeans that fit right! What a relief! hee hee!

  5. I cracked up reading this post. I don’t have a particularly big butt, but that doesn’t keep me from obsessing over it. I do the jiggle test (I jiggle, then go still and measure how long it takes for my butt to follow suit). I’m trying to cut down, but…
    Thanks again for your great post.

    1. You’re welcome, Junebug! I’m so happy you liked the post! :) And may I say you had me giggling with you jiggle test? The things we ladies do! hee hee!

  6. I whole-heartedly concur with both you and Neela, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, whatever *it* might be! The only problem I have about my own large, middle-aged butt is catching it in cahoots with gravity!

    1. Cathy, omg, that is funny! Come on, I’m sure your middle-aged butt is worth flaunting as well! Flaunt it, sister, flaunt it! hee hee! :)

  7. Happily, my butt has never been an issue for me. My arms, as you know Bella, are an issue. And the kangaroo pouch I carry around my middle from the three lovely daughters, definitely an issue.

    1. Heidi, we already talked about the importance of “chunkier” arms and as for the kangaroo pouch, I like to think of it as the “Motherhood” badge: you earn it the moment you decide you’re okay with growing another human inside your belly. hee hee! Just remember, no matter what, you are beautiful! :)

  8. Gotta love the donkey from Shrek…

    I like big butts and I cannot lie
    You other brothers can’t deny
    That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
    And a round thing in your face
    You get sprung
    Wanna pull up tough
    Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
    Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
    I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring…

    I’m tired of magazines
    Saying flat butts are the thing
    Take the average black man and ask him that
    She gotta pack much back

    So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
    Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
    Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it,
    shake that healthy butt….

    1. Debra, thank you so much for this! The Significant Other is off today and I read it to him as we had our morning coffee. Not only did it make us chuckle, it also prompted him to say, “My girlfriend’s got the butt, hell yeah!” :)

  9. Girl, THANK YOU! It’s about damned time we started loving the back God gave us. It gives the guys something to hold on to. I have a friend who has absolutely no ass whatsoever. My son and I often joke that his ass is concave, that when he turns to the side he disappears. He bikes and we don’t want to see him in bike shorts.

    I’m proud of my rump roast though I am overweight. However, when I was a size 12, it looked terrific on the dance floor and in a mini skirt. Men didn’t seem to mind so I never understood why those razor thin runway models got all the attention.

    Keep posting the truth, girl!

    1. Sing it, sister! Thank you, Emiliana for the hilarious anecdote of your “ass-less’ friend! “He bikes and we don’t want to see him in bike shorts.” hee hee! Good for you for being proud of your ‘rump roast.” You are an inspiration to us all! :) The Significant Other has always told me that if it weren’t for my curves, he wouldn’t have given me a second glance!

  10. I like that we blog about the same subject (mine is ‘Does my butt look big’) clearly this a topic well traveled, and over worried about. Strange, but true, my young, no longer a girl, now a young woman, daughter, is a size nothing. If it wasn’t for the fact that she looked like me (like older/younger sister) and she came from me, I’d think she was switched at birth –I was never that small. Still, she sometimes complains about her curves and Latin backside. It makes me laugh… I tell her to rejoice in her curves, it’s the one thing us woman have over the other sex.. Love that about us girls.

    Brenda

    1. Amen, Brenda! I totally agree with you! I think we should rejoice, no matter what our size, simply because we are women. And tell your daughter that a size 0 will not last forever so it’s a good idea that she embrace her beautiful shape starting now! :)

  11. Being of Cuban and Italian background, I was never meant to me petite. Unless by “petite” you mean short.

    I’m glad that you are celebrating your backside. More of us need to.

    Not that I am going to start wearing “Juicy” across it or anything…I can be proud of it without renting out ad space, right?

    1. Oh girl, don’t get me started on the ad space cause I have a pair of sweat pants with Gap across the back and it’s like my ass is a billboard! :)

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s