Where have you been all my life?


cc licensed flickr photo shared by chotda

Two days ago, I wrote about the little things that keep a relationship alive and today’s post is going to make you scratch your head and say, “What?”

In my defense, I’ll say that being in a relationship doesn’t render you blind, or less appreciative of the hotness we encounter from time to time.

Read on and find out what I’m talking about!

This morning at the supermarket, as I dug through the mango bin hoping to find one that was “just right”, I had an “ahh” moment.

Not an Oprah “aha” moment, but an “aah” moment (I claim ownership for this exression).

This “aah” moment resulted from the fact that standing a mere foot away from me was the sexiest six feet of eye candy I have ever seen.

Dark, beautiful, wavy hair that could rival “McDreamy’s”, eyes as blue as the sky, and shoulders so broad, they’d make lesser men weep.

“Excuse me,” he said.

“Yes, I’ll have your baby. Yes, you can have my number. Yes, I’ll leave the Significant Other. Yes, I’ll go with you wherever, whenever, forever, till death do us part.” (You didn’t see what the guy looked like, so don’t judge.)

As I waited for him to continue speaking, I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrored pillar in front of me.

And this is what I saw:
Flyaway hair swept up in a hair clip, body clothed in a pair of old gray sweats and a ripped white tee, and a face devoid of any makeup.

I looked like road kill, to say the least.

What could he possibly want with me?

For a moment I thought he was an evolved species; the type that sees past physical appearance and appreciates true beauty; the inner kind.

Or maybe he’s was intuitive and suspected that under this appaling outfit lay an empowered, intelligent, creative, and yes, sexy woman.

Because intelligence makes a woman sexy.

As does a vivid imagination, generosity of spirit, a compassionate nature, and the desire to defend the underdog.

Because sexy comes in all ages, shapes and sizes.

I was sexy, damn it.

(Rant over)

And somehow this smoking hot stranger knew it too.

Somehow he’d picked up on it, in spite of my disheveled appearance.

In spite of the uncoiffed hair.

In spite of the torn neckline of my four dollar t-shirt.

Finally, the man of my dreams.

The beautiful protagonist from my alternate reality; one unlike any other.

He was here.

Standing in front of me.

Ready to acknowledge I was the other number 2 of his 2+2.

I was giddy with anticipation.

Ready to say, “You had me at ‘Excuse me’.”

Breathlessly, I waited for him to speak.

“Excuse me,” he said again.

“Do you know what time the store closes?”

Wordlessly, I went back to digging in the mango bin.

When was the last time you encountered a handsome/beautiful stranger?

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36 thoughts on “Where have you been all my life?

  1. Hey Bella….Love your work, really so much. I kept picturing you as the “The Roller Derby” kisser girl from my funny blog. You, standing there fondling Mangos…emotion building…heart pounding…mind doing some serious naughty girl imagining…and then your passionate, uncontrollable “mauling” of a hot stud being pushed back onto a supermarket display. Ah Bella,,,,control thy loins girl. Hahaha….and have a good dream-filled day! ;)

  2. Ah Bella (note I didn’t hijack your ahh!), you sure know how to turn a bland, mango-scrounging moment into a mystical, magical encounter! How I laughed, and laughed and laughed. The last time I encountered a handsome stranger was in a recent revision of my novel. You see, one of my main characters – a towering black Nigerian flower-seller-poet with metallic blue eyes and a white, flowing kaftan and the look of a dark angel – happened to be standing on the threshold of an apartment in the Fez medina, his arms weighed down by a steaming pot of apricot-lamb tagine and a stack of still warm flat-bread wrapped in cloth…

    1. Cathy, how you make my heart melt with the eloquent, flamboyant description of your Nigerian flower seller! Now that’s an encounter I would like to chance upon! So happy I made you laugh! :)

  3. Be still my beating heart! I love instant crushing! Sadly, the last time my knees buckled was a couple of months ago. If not my the super market trolley I was clutching I’d have fainted. I so wanted to pitch woo with the man. Great start to my morning. Thanks, Bella.

    Brenda

    1. Brenda, you gripping the supermarket trolley, and me gripping the mango bin! Thank God I didn’t grip the mangoes or I’d have made juice with them! hee hee!

  4. Let’s hear it for Madonna…

    Haven’t we met ♪
    You’re some kind of beautiful stranger
    You could be good for me ♫
    I’ve had the taste for danger

    If I’m smart then I’ll run away ♪♪
    But I’m not so I guess I’ll stay
    Heaven forbid ♫
    I’ll take my chance on a beautiful stranger

    [and so on, and so on…]

    Only my husband makes me weak in the knees.

    1. Aw girl, come on, only your husband makes you weak in the knees? What about Javier Bardem? Now that man has the knee weakening super power! But I take my hat off to you, Rowena. Only special women have that fortitude and I’m glad I have you as my moral compass! :) And thanks for the Madonna lyrics! Now you have me singing!

  5. I am so glad Lori (girlparker) sent me here. :)

    I swear, your post had me convinced that we were separated at birth. Down to the clipped back flyaway and gray sweats. And why is the hoy guy always in the produce department?

    (looking forward to reading more of your blog )

    1. And I’m glad you dropped by! Really, you wear the same get up as I do? You poor thing! hee hee! And why is the hot guy always in the produce department? I want to know that too! In any case, it gives us heads up regarding what places to stalk while we grocery shop! :)

  6. You are too funny! And always have something uplifting to say. You even make me feel better about buying so many of my t-shirts at yard sales.

  7. ahh, bella – reading this post is like seeing an old friend for the first time in ages. i’ve been a bad blogger – a bad reader AND writer lately, and this post makes me glad to be back. :) your writing style is so much fun to read. THANK YOU!

    1. Ah but Nikki, with the wedding coming up you get a “Get out of Jail” pass, so no worries, girlfriend! I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve been lurking ’round your blog! :)

    1. Yes, girl, and like @wosushi pointed out, they seem to hover in the produce department! We so have to figure out why that is! :)

  8. Ha! Bella, this is fabulous. It’s been a few months since I’ve encountered anyone worth flirting with; the last time was a super cute boy whom I made blush and stammer by teasing him about the picture on his driver’s license.

    1. You cougar, you! hahahahaha! I love it! That’s it, you’ve inspired me to go out and innocently flirt this weekend. (My skills are so rusty, I hope they still work!) :)

  9. Oh Bella! hahaha. This is hilarious! You really are an amazing storyteller!

    The last time I encountered a husband-leaving worthy piece of eye candy was probably a couple years back. He was DREAMY and gorgeous and had eyes that I could drown in FOREVER. Too bad he’s completely unawares of his sexiness and is lacking in self-confidence.

  10. The last time I saw a gorgeous guy was in Michaels. I was walking by the framing counter when I saw him, tall, sparkling eyes and a killer grin, nice hair, a timeless mid forties to mid fifties. “I like your hat,” he said. I believe I actually SWOONED. Like who swoons anymore?! This was THE ONE I decided, realizing he didn’t care about my plus size or walking stick. Whilst daydreaming I heard him say to the girl behind the counter, “I like your hair.” I turned to her and saw the greatest 1970’s Farrah Fawcett throw back hairdo I have ever seen. Trying not to laugh, I walked away…

    1. Oh, Elizabeth, you’ve made me laugh! Don Juans usually are dashing and handsome! But hey, a compliment’s a compliment and that’s what counts! :)

  11. Hi Bella! I love your blog-am visiting from Kenya’s blog. I strongly recommend you to visit tubecrush.net, it shows pics of hot guys on the London tube. Love it! Keep blogging!

    1. Hello Muriel and welcome! I’m tickled pink you like my blog! I’m walking, no–dashing, no–running at top speed to check out tubecrush! Thanks for the heads up and come back and visit! :)

  12. love the pic of Totoro on the mango fruit, it just make me laugh!, and it’s so nice to read your anecdotes!.
    I must to recognize there was a man that make me weak in the knees, just some months ago, a classically handsome middle-aged man on a causal suit. Ah, I’m married to him!! (yes, he’s not used to wear a suit!)
    besos & risas

  13. Mrs. Allnut, you’ve made an excellent point! Sometimes the very man who makes us weak in the knees is our own Significant Other in formal wear! Thank you for pointing that out! :) I wish I could focus on Totoro but the mango just looks so succulent and it’s my favorite fruit! Besos y risas!

  14. Great post Bella.It’s really nice of you sharing such wonderful posts on here with fellow bloggers.Hope you fine.Meanwhile plz do visit my page read on freeing your mind and 5 steps to freeing your mind and comment to assist improve and share my works.Lovely day.
    EBENEZER.

    1. Thank you for your visit, Ebenezer! I most certainly will visit your blog and leave a comment! Do visit again when you like! Lovely day to you too! :)

    1. OMG, woman! What do you mean, you’ve never heard of Javier?? Now I must do a blog post on the hottest man on the planet! :)

  15. On second thought, Prince Arthur of Camelot (Bradley James in the current brit series “Merlin”) makes my heart flutter, but only if he’s in his knight costume.

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