Will the person who invented Facebook please stand up?


cc licensed ( BY SD ) flickr photo shared by _Max-B

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve had it with Facebook.

The good Lord knows that as a parent, I’ve had to stand in line to get my son’s attention on numerous occasions.

I’ve been trumped by Wii, Xbox, texting, Jersey Shore, and now, constantly by the annoying Facebook.

Facebook is responsible for skipped meals, incomplete homework assignments, missed dental appointments, and chores that never get done.

Furthermore, every request I make is met with “Wait. I have to check my Facebook.”

The exchange goes something like this:

“Honey, you’re going to miss the bus!” “Wait, I have to check my Facebook.”
“Dinner’s on the table.” “Wait. I have to check my Facebook.”
“The window broke and I have a piece of glass stuck in my carotid.” “Wait!! I have to check my Facebook!!”

Sadly, my child is not the only one to have been lured to the other side.

My sisters, nephews, nieces, and friends, have all voluntarily joined the ranks of the millions of sheep followers.

Even more irritating is the fact that people who claim they never have time to make a five-minute phone call to see how you are, suddenly have time to look through photo albums of people they’ve never met.

Folks who haven’t shown an interest in gardening in their lives, suddenly develop the passion to water not only their own virtual “crops,” but their friends’ as well.

Friends play an important role in the lives of Facebook sheep followers.

Hence, a great part of the day is devoted to making and accepting “friend requests.”

A hot stranger from New York City? Accepted.

A waiter who works at Benny’s Grill? Accepted.

An 80-year-old, toothless woman from Romania? Accepted.

All’s fair in the game of acquiring as many friends as possible.

But it doesn’t end there.

We mustn’t forget the countless number of hours that are spent posting status updates and “commenting” on the status of friends.

Jane Doe “Just came in from having laser surgery on my left eye.”

Low and behold, five people have given this status update a “thumb’s up” to show So and So likes this.

Are you kidding me?

If it were up to me, everything would have a thumb’s down.

Sadly, my son informs me that this feature has yet to be created by Facebook.

You think?

Something tells me they want to avoid scenarios like this one:

Status update: Jane Doe “Just got home from having a wart removed from the pinky toe of my left foot.”

Me-Thumbs down. Comment: “Who gives a rat’s ass? Go put on clean socks and finish your homework.”

So, what’s a Mother to do?

The only thing you can do, wait a “minute” while your son/daughter checks Facebook.

Do you have to compete with Facebook to get a loved one’s attention?

Misery loves company, so let me know!

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32 thoughts on “Will the person who invented Facebook please stand up?

  1. I admit, my relationship with FB is love/hate.

    Fortunately, I don’t have to compete with it, so that probably keeps the hatred from overtaking me.

    I opened the account originally for work reasons – the job I had required it. It was a good networking tool.

    Then, I had a kid. And posting photos there for family and friends that live far was infinitely easier than sending photos out to individual people.

    But, I too, want to gouge my eyes out when someone asks me to buy them a cow. Or seeing photos of girls I know with pouty lips and peace signs like they’re 15.

    And yet, I stay. And occasionally will let you know that I’m drinking coffee. Sorry about that.

    Sigh.

    1. I love that you have a love/hate relationship with it! This way you can still see its usefulness and at the same time, the silliness of it. (Like buy me a cow, for instance) ha! That was funny! And don’t get me started on the “duck” lips!

  2. Facebook has made very little difference in my life; after a month or so of being excited by new friends, most of whom had my email anyway, I lost interest. However, this month I became addicted to the A to Z Blogging Challenge which fortunately is over tomorrow. I loved it but it I’ve lost so many hours. Oh well.

    1. Thelma, I did manage to catch some of the A to Z posts. I thought it was an interesting concept but I don’t know if I would’ve had the will power to go through the whole alphabet! :)

  3. Put on socks. HAA!!! I’m proud of the fact that my friend count only 40. If I had my way, it would be five. Or two. A magnet on my fridge says it all. An old lady is standing stiffly in a suit, with the caption, “Do I look like a people person.” Exactly.

    1. Lori, you are the exception and sadly, not the rule. Everyone I know who used the dratted system has turned into a friend collector. It’s absolutely ridiculous when they barely know the people they “friend.” Gosh I hate using that word as a verb! :)

  4. You’re going to think me set in my ways and behind the times and dreadfully old-fashioned, but I still don’t have a Facebook page. I prefer a world where my senses are more than virtually engaged, where I can see, smell, hear, touch, taste and intuit…

    1. Cathy, I’m behind you 100 percent! I too do not, nor will I have, a Facebook page. I agree with you regarding the importance of “savoring” the world making use of our senses! :) We spend enough time behind the computer as it is!

  5. The games! The games drive me crazy, the farming and the cafes and the whatevers. Last year I blocked all games, with no exceptions. I would delete facebook entirely but it’s the only way I can keep up with some of my family, which isn’t entirely facebooks fault, I don’t actually like to use the telephone cause I have problems with it.
    I do wish however, that my family would spend more time sending me emails, or facebook messages, instead of playing cafe world, farmville and the rest of that rubbish.
    I am all about twitter though. Love twitter.

    1. You know, I have a Twitter account which I hardly use. I think I need to reaquaint myself with it if only to post my new blog posts! What do you think? Useful or not? And I agree with you about the games. Really, where do people get the time?? :)

  6. Hysterical! Wait, did we coordinate on writes today, is this like high school, besties planning outfits for the next day? Too funny! I love you wit, was howling at ‘glass in carotid’. I confess that I used FB to post links to my blogs (shameless self-marketing) and I scan through people’s updates, BUT I don’t personally confess what I am doing. I like my privacy (says the writer), still others do live their lives for all the world to see. I like a little mystery. I know, I know, I am a dying breed ( and I am not that old) , but I can’t help myself. I love writing long emails (see how progressive I am), especially receiving them. So glad to have found in the blogoshere, your writes make me laugh.

    Brenda

    1. Brenda, how cool are you! Seriously, how funny is to write about a related subject with no ahead planning? Hey, nobody said there’s anything wrong with self marketing. I’ve been thinking of doing just that via Twitter! :) I have to say that the reason I don’t use Facebook is cause I see it as an invasion of my privacy. People that announce to the world that they are at Starbucks eating a scone and drinking a skinny latte are just looking to get stalked! :) And I’m glad you found me too!

  7. I’ve had FB since 2006. I guess for me, all the glamour and glitz of it has worn off. I used to be on in all day, but now I check it once or twice a day for about 2 minutes. It’s just UGH.

  8. Ok, to answer your Twitter question (another item I thought useless but I HAD to sign up for work)…it IS useful. There is a method to the madness of who you follow and who follows you back, as well as “hashtagging” your posts.

    I admittedly only started putting any of this to work a few days ago, and let me tell you, the visit count to my blog JUMPED.

    There was a time when my blog was only an outlet a few close friends were privy too, but when you start to explore the realm of writing for more than your own entertainment, you gotta work the pole. So to speak.

    Maybe that’s what all those duck lips area about. Hmmm…

  9. I’m with you chick! When my youngest daughter comes to visit she’s constantly texting people or checking texts, which is very annoying when I am trying to make eye contact with her to make a point! The rest of the time she is on Facebook, occasionally taking a break to watch “Cake Boss.”
    My second son is in a well known band in the States and told me that sometimes when he calls people they act all offended and say: “Why didn’t you text me?” It’s like they’re saying, “I don’t wish to talk to you in person…” He also said there’s a whole generation being raised via text messaging that have zero socialand spelling skills, and he works with young people all the time. So, there you have it. When I grounded my children I didn’t allow any media whatsoever, no phone, no radio, no T.V., no computer etc. Nothing but books in their room. If they said something nasty they had to write me a letter explaining why this were true (I kept them all!) This improved their English and helped them process their feelings. They usually ended up crying and saying they were sorry. Surely we want to bring up creative individuals and not zombies!!

    1. Elizabeth, I couldn’t agree with you more! The other day the Son had to write one of his professors and dared to ask me, “Do you think it’s acceptable for me to use text jargon?” I was speechless and appalled, to say the least! I also have the texting and receiving text and it’s come to the point that if we’re having a conversation or eating, I will ask him to turn off the cell. Your son is a wise man and right on point with the fact that people no longer converse, they text! I had to smile at your disciplining method for naughty words. Good for you! :)

  10. Count me as one of the NON-followers. But since you must have an account to CONNECT with relatives who would otherwise only keep in contact via email FORWARDS, then my only alternative is to pose as my brother and use his account when I need to communicate to those across the pond (more like in the middle of the Pacific). I don’t know why he even gave me his password, but if he thinks for one minute that he’s gonna get me hooked on Face-buku (as one italian grandma pronounced it on tv), he can simply talk to the hand.

    On a side note, I neither twit, oops, I meant tweet so there’s another social network time-waster that can go to h***.

    1. Rowena, woo hoo, sister! Sing it! I hear you and I second you! I feel you, girl, with the relatives whose idea of communication is via forwards. They’re worse than spammers! I had to laugh at the Face-buku! OMG, you have to love Italians! :)

  11. Dearest Bella – I ‘like’ this post ;). I don’t think you can entirely blame FB for people’s behavior – if it wasn’t FB, they’d find something equally ridiculous to do to avoid meaningful communication. And it’s not just the kids – it’s grown people too telling us how silly they can be. But like, I told you already, I’ve used FB effectively for my blog and to connect with old friends – of course, once we’ve reconnected we’ve taken our communication off FB to other mailing or calling each other.

    1. Oh Corinne, if everyone was as wise as you then Facebook would not be toxic. :) I think that it’s brillian to use it as a tool to connect and then proceed to other type of interaction outside of its forum. Sadly, you are the exception and not the rule. However, I do agree with you. This phenomenon is not limited to the “younger” demographic; the older one is just as bad. I’m just glad we’re able communicate using other mediums and where we don’t have to display our conversations for all the world to see. Don’t you think? :)

  12. I have a love/hate relationship with facebook myself. I was the last holdout of anyone I knew to get one. Even my parents and inlaws had facebook first. I got it b/c I blog and I noticed a lot of other bloggers had a page. Then, my dear brother-in-law insulted me and my blog on FB… and I’ve pretty much given up on it ever since. :-)
    http://wearnailpolish.blogspot.com

    1. Oh no, Stacey! I’m sorry to hear that! Not nice! Sadly, I hear this happens sometimes and it’s a reason in itself to stop using it. (Like you did) However, the Son tells me you can block certain users and in doing this you can still use it for your blog! :)

  13. Lady, love your witty point of wiew!, and you make me laugh so much!
    Actually, I refuse to have a facebook account, because I like to preserve a certain part of my privacy (even though I show my outfits photos!), and I also spend too much time on the computer. I think I needn’t to feed constantly an account with a lot of irrelevant information about myself, and it’s annoying to receive a lot of invitations from people you didn´t care for ages (and probably, there were a lot of reasons to lose touch with them!)
    I have yet a blog, and it’s the most I can manage!
    besos & RealLife

    1. Mrs. Allnut, I believe you and I were separated at birth! hee hee! I too love my privacy. I always have. I think Facebook is too intrusive for my tastes and like you mention, even if I wanted to, I could not muster the time or the energy to actively participate in this type of social network. Besos y vida real! :)

  14. I’m totally with you Bella re FB. A big thumbs down for me. (I sort of liked the movie, though!) I did see in today’s NY Times a good use of Facebook–a woman in Alabama posted pix on FB of people’s stuff that she had found after the tornado hit, so owners could claim it.

    1. You see, Jann, now that’s a constructive way to use this medium! How very kind of her! I have yet to see the movie but have been told by acquaintances that it’s quite good. We need to check it out! :)

  15. I am a bad mum. My 11-year old is not allowed to have a Facebook account. Most of her friends have one. That said, I will have to give in eventually…

    1. Do you really think you’re a bad mum for not allowing Facebook priviliges to an 11 year old? Personally, I don’t think so. I think it’s wise to establish parameters for children and social networking is one that should be allowed to kids when they’re older. But that’s just me! :)

  16. I had a facebook page for a couple of months, but I hated how impersonal it was, and I soon realized that a lot of people expected their ‘facebook check ins’ to count for everything. Did certain friends stop contacting me completely once I’d deleted my account? Absolutely. And it’s sad that this is what communication has come to. Good post!

    1. Deanna, I’m in absolute agreement. That is the reason I refuse to have a Facebook account. There’s enough lack of quality communication already, without adding the “talk through updates” kind. I’m glad you liked the post! :)

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