Who’s watching you?

Roxy spent the better part of the morning sunning herself on the balcony.

While I, on the other hand, slaved away doing housework.

As I was walked past the picture window on my way upstairs, I noticed she wasn’t laying down but instead, was staring intently at something.

I followed her gaze’s direction, and saw what she was looking at.

A gray dove had made a rest stop on the rooftop of the little sheds that line the back side of the building.

Unaware it was being stared at, it slowly walked around before flying away.

An hour later, Roxy and I headed to our favorite park for our mid-day walk.

On our way there, Roxy stopped to do her business.

As I waited for her to finish, I looked up to see this little fellow staring down at us.

I thought it was amusing how just this morning, the dove had been the object of Roxy’s attention, and now we were being scrutinized by this lovely animal.

Both of these scenarios served to confirm something conspiracy theorists have been telling us for years.

And it’s that, there’s always someone or something watching you; your actions never go unobserved.

So ladies, here’s a newsflash for you.

The time you stopped in what appeared to be a deserted street to tug at your underwear? You were probably being watched.

The time you were in a dressing room and thought it would be a good time to pick your nose? More than likely, whoever watches the security cameras witnessed you in the act.

The time you grabbed your man’s ass and thought only the two of you were privy to your indiscretion? Yep, someone was watching.

The time you adjusted the girls who were smashed together in a shirt that was too tight? Yep, someone saw that too.

The time you littered thinking there wasn’t anyone in sight to witness your misdemeanor? You were wrong. Somebody saw.

The time you picked your teeth because you didn’t have dental floss and had a piece of parsley wedged between your front teeth? Someone saw you do that too.

The time you did a breath check right before you met your date, boyfriend, or husband? Yes, someone witnessed that.

And the time you popped a zit because there was no way you were showing up to dinner sporting that disgusting thing on your face? Someone saw exactly how you did it.

Yes, ladies, we are indeed not alone.

There are regular mirrors, two-way mirrors, windows, cameras, video cameras, street cams, security cams, and binoculars everywhere.

My point is, if you don’t want to be featured on YouTube, have your photo plastered on someone’s blog, or in the “Don’ts” section of Glamour magazine, don’t do anything in public that can come back to bite you in the ass.

Take it from me.

I was adjusting my underpants when this cat was looking down at us.

If animals could talk, his or her owner would know by now that I was wearing another pair of reject underwear; white and pink polka-dotted ones with a lace trim.

Underpants, which I thought were cute, but that unfortunately cut off any blood flow to my femoral artery.

And yes, you guessed it, they’re headed to the reject pile as we speak.

So remember, someone is watching you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

When was the last time you did something you thought no one was watching you do?


70 thoughts on “Who’s watching you?

  1. I’m aware that there will always be someone watching, so, the last time I did something and thinking nobody was watching? Was there ever such a time?

    Not that it bothers me particularly. I just ignore those who watch me – don’t they have anything better to do with their time? :)

    Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t do something indecent in public, such as getting naked; and if I’m say, to cross a street, I’ll stop when the traffic light is red if there are kids around, i wouldn’t want to give them a bad example which might get them harmed in the future.

    But now you reminded me of something; we used to have this elderly gentleman cat, and we brought in this young girl-cat. Once it happened to him to jump and fall; after that, he never even tried to jump while she was able to see him, because he didn’t want her to see him failing.

    1. Ivana, I feel for the poor cat! I too do not attempt to do things young people do in the presence of young people. And if I’m ever brave enough to do so, the Son feels it’s his responsibility to remind me I’m too old to be doing whatever it is I’m trying to do! :) I like your nonchalant attitude. And yes, don’t people have better things to do with their time? I take it as a compliment when they stop and stare! :)

  2. Bella, as you may remember, I had this weird thing where I always thought there was a camera watching me when I was younger. Hidden, recording my every move.

    So, even if I do something (adjusting undergarments, upstairs and down, is a common one) I get that hot back of the neck feeling of embarrassment since I feel like someone is watching anyway.

    But, if I had to choose one thing I do when I think no one is watching – sing. In my car mostly. At the top of my lungs. And it’s often showtunes.

    1. Oh Amber, you don’t have to hide to sing! I’m sure you have a lovely singing voice! Your reading voice is beautiful, so I’m sure it’s just as nice singing! :)

    2. Amber, I love singing show tunes in the car, too. You can’t be sad when you’re singing such showstoppers as “Everything’s Coming Up Roses,” or “Oklahoma!” Show tunes are the best!

  3. Fabulous! You tickle me.
    This reminds me—
    Hubby and I started closing our bedroom door…
    cuz when we were “you know what” one night…I felt two eyes burning thru
    my naked body. Who was it?
    Our big Tabby sitting like a sphinx watching us. He was like a dirty old freak…like
    a furry old yucky pedaphile. Ohhh, Gro000ss.
    We always keep the door closed now..or Mr. Freak will be in like a shot to watch with his BIG GREEN EYES!!!

    1. Kim, pets that lurk have to be the worst when one is trying to engage in nocturnal extracurricular activities! I wholeheartedly agree! You had me giggling imagining the big green eyes just watching! hee hee!

  4. Ha! Great post. As I read I though, “yep, done that” “Oh, yeah… that too”… “Um, I guess I’m not the only one that’s done that”.

    There are new security cameras in my building’s garage. I’m sure whoever has to monitor them knows that I get handsy with my husband as we head for the elevator. Hopefully by now their bored of our antics.

    1. Ariana, I always admire your fearless, feisty attitude! Good for you! We have much to learn from your carefree spirit! :)

  5. Bella, LOL! I’m so sorry you still haven’t found comfy underwear, and I fear you’re right about all the eyes upon us, especially when we’re doing something bizarre. Funny, too, about what Amber says how when she was younger she thought there was a camera on her all the time. I went through a similar phase in my early teens–and this was before reality shows or anything like that.

    1. Jann, I think we’ve all had that “Truman Show” feeling at one point or another! Would you believe the first thing I look for when I walk into stores and the like are the security cameras? Call me paranoid but it’s like there’s an eye up in the sky! And no, sadly I’m still on the underpants quest. Grief.

  6. A cat may look at a king… or a woman adjusting a wedgie, lol! Thanks for the giggle.

    I do the picking out teeth, singing in the car, and other things in the HOPE I may gross somebody out. That way, they’re not watching when I do the REALLY naughty things.

  7. Okay, let’s all refer back to Amber’s comment. She DOES sing in the car. I know. Cuz her phone purse-dialed our phone. We heard her walk, get in the car, start the engine, and then turn on the music. Yes, ladies and gentleman, she went for the High Note in a Les Miserables song. We didn’t erase the message for over a year. =) Love you, Amber!

    Great post, Bella. And I love the lil pink nose. Sweet kitty! My kitties see it all. If they suddenly speak any human tongue, I’ll have to go into hiding.

    1. Parker, really, into hiding? I wonder what those kitties witness! :) Too bad we can’t post Amber’s singing here! :)

  8. Isn’t it the most irritating thing when you have a public wedgey and the wedgey police is watching?

    There used to be a rumor that the government was watching us from these new TV sets. Of course, they may be looking at what I’m typing to you now. I hope they don’t arrest me before I get to make my next post :-)

    1. Totsy, my brother in law always tells me that Big Brother is watching. So yes, I think they’re keylogging every word you type! hee hee!

  9. I’ve witnessed the occasional wedgey being fixed, slip being pulled down, bra adjustment (and other) and always think to myself.. NEVER ADJUST IN PUBLIC… Of course, it’s hysterical to see (not what is actually being adjusted) but how they look around before committing the act and how they assume an entire parking garage is void of humans.. Cracks me up, how they look around and then adjust thinking they are off the hook. You just never know when Roxy is on guard making mental memories. The smile was needed, thanks for bring warmth to my day. Hugs,

    1. Brenda, you’re so welcome! I agree, some people actually take the trouble to look around before making their minor adjustements. This totally excludes men. Experience tells me they could care less. :)

  10. Thank you for that reminder Bella. I know that anything I do in the house cannot go unobserved with my two dogs Cocoa or Pippin around (and they often let me know their opinion about what they see ). But often I forget who may be watching out in public. The things I’ve seen in the car next to me in traffic…..

    1. Carol, tell me about it! Those are the worst! People think that just because they’re in their car, they’re not being seen and boy are they disgusting! :)

  11. Creepy thought that there are cameras everywhere now. Not sure if I’ll use a dressing room again for a while.

    But on the subject of wardrobe adjustments… sometimes you just have to tug, as discreetly as possible, and hope that if anyone sees, they’ve been in your, ahem, shoes.

    1. Shary, in this Spanx day and age, I think all of us have been in those shoes! hee hee! As for the dressing room, it instills a lot of anxiety in me! :)

  12. This made me think of a TV show I once saw in which the narrator talked about accidentally catching strangers in your photographs. He wondered how many strangers have unknowingly shared your special occasions and life events from afar. Then the narator wondered how many strangers have photos of *you*… To this day, it creeps me out to think of someone owning photos of me. So thanks, Bella. For reminding me. ;)

    1. Elise, I hope reminding you was a good thing! :) Hey, another thing to be wary of…strangers taking photos where you might inadvertently be part of the background! Oh no! Something else to worry about! :)

  13. LOL, now you tell me!
    But you’re right: we’re always being watched. It’s a double-edge sword: on the one hand, it’s good to catch the folks who are up to no good but the process catches ordinary people doing ordinary things like making sure the girls are not smashed together or adjusting wedgies.

  14. Well, I wouldn’t mind having an issue with the girls smashing together, public or not! But yeah, I often wonder if there’s a camera around or something, and try to assume someone can see me. I’ve seen too many gross or funny things in cars and out in public to get caught doing one of them. So if I do some adjusting in public, I do it outright without trying to be sneaky. Fun post! Found you through She Writes.

    1. Shannon, thank you and welcome! I’m glad you’re the type of girl who does what she does when she has to! I call that being fearless! :)

  15. As a confirmed garbage rooter I don’t think anyone’s watching when I drag things home, but the neighbours are probably all thinking: “Wow, does she have no pride?” (The answer of course is no.)

    1. hahaha, Corinne! Have I been watching you, friend? I’ll never tell! Roxy sends hugs and kisses to Pablo, that handsome boxer! :)

  16. OMG, now I’m scared to go out of the house. What was I thinking. Thanks for the heads up. My Henry loves to sit in the patio and watch the neighbors walking by as he suns himself. I wonder what tales he can tell. Yikes. lol

    1. Monica, you could probably write a tell all best seller with all the things Henry has seen! Somebody call the dog whisperer! :)

  17. Bella….I think you might get a kick out of the fact that whenever I use the metro in Milan, I seek out the security cameras and say cheese and give the peace sign. My husband says I am crazy, so what? And that weird old guy that was staring at me the other day when he was foraging for mushrooms next to my house? I stared right back at him and since I had my camera in hand, raised it up to my eyeballs and took a picture of him. He turned around and walked away. That oughtta teach him.

    1. You teach that old coot something, Rowena! Do it fo you, do it for us, do it for everyone who’s being watched! We owe you, sister! hee hee! Hey, I’m going to give a peace sign to the cameras in the metro here. If I get arrested, will you bail me out? :)

    2. Sure, I’ll post the 10 grand or so that it’ll probably take, but only until you find out what kind of meals they serve in jails over there.

  18. Haha, rowena, that’s hilarious!
    And Bella, your post made me laugh – and think, because once again you’re right: there are indeed hardly any situations when nobody is noticing what we are doing.

    1. Sabrina, I have this crazy attraction to cameras when I’m out in public. Like in the electronics store and you pass the camera they’re selling and see yourself on the huge tv screen nearby? I am looking right into it. Security cameras are the best though because you can just stop, check your lipstick, retouch your makeup, and it all looks normal.

    2. And here I thought I was the only one that did that! If I ever go to Italy, Rowena, we have to hang out! I promise to wear flip flops! :)

  19. This reminds of how my boyfriend tries sometimes to get into other ppl random photos when we are out and about. He is always wondering in how many photos we can get into without even knowing. I guess we never know. (I definitely dont want to know if someone saw me adjusting my panties or picking my nose lol)

    1. OMG Sonishka, I have a nephew who does the same thing! We call it the “Where’s Waldo” syndrome! hee hee! And lets hope no one saw you performing those heinous acts! :)

  20. Today!!! I am trying a whitening Crest treatment and and I’m always checking out my teeth. I try to be discreet, but today, in my car, someone caught me mouth wide open. I was really embarassed. I turn my head the other way and acted as if nothing happened. Am I the only one that does that?

    1. Aw lady, you’re too sweet! I’m honored to be nominated for a blog award by you! Thank you so much! I’m tickled pink! And hey, adjusting our bra straps in public, are we? Good for you! hee hee!

  21. You see, it’s not until these little characters widened our eyes to the fact that we began to worry about stuff like this! I tell you! :)

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