Roxy spent the better part of the morning sunning herself on the balcony.
While I, on the other hand, slaved away doing housework.
As I was walked past the picture window on my way upstairs, I noticed she wasn’t laying down but instead, was staring intently at something.
I followed her gaze’s direction, and saw what she was looking at.
A gray dove had made a rest stop on the rooftop of the little sheds that line the back side of the building.
Unaware it was being stared at, it slowly walked around before flying away.
An hour later, Roxy and I headed to our favorite park for our mid-day walk.
On our way there, Roxy stopped to do her business.
As I waited for her to finish, I looked up to see this little fellow staring down at us.
I thought it was amusing how just this morning, the dove had been the object of Roxy’s attention, and now we were being scrutinized by this lovely animal.
Both of these scenarios served to confirm something conspiracy theorists have been telling us for years.
And it’s that, there’s always someone or something watching you; your actions never go unobserved.
So ladies, here’s a newsflash for you.
The time you stopped in what appeared to be a deserted street to tug at your underwear? You were probably being watched.
The time you were in a dressing room and thought it would be a good time to pick your nose? More than likely, whoever watches the security cameras witnessed you in the act.
The time you grabbed your man’s ass and thought only the two of you were privy to your indiscretion? Yep, someone was watching.
The time you adjusted the girls who were smashed together in a shirt that was too tight? Yep, someone saw that too.
The time you littered thinking there wasn’t anyone in sight to witness your misdemeanor? You were wrong. Somebody saw.
The time you picked your teeth because you didn’t have dental floss and had a piece of parsley wedged between your front teeth? Someone saw you do that too.
The time you did a breath check right before you met your date, boyfriend, or husband? Yes, someone witnessed that.
And the time you popped a zit because there was no way you were showing up to dinner sporting that disgusting thing on your face? Someone saw exactly how you did it.
Yes, ladies, we are indeed not alone.
There are regular mirrors, two-way mirrors, windows, cameras, video cameras, street cams, security cams, and binoculars everywhere.
My point is, if you don’t want to be featured on YouTube, have your photo plastered on someone’s blog, or in the “Don’ts” section of Glamour magazine, don’t do anything in public that can come back to bite you in the ass.
Take it from me.
I was adjusting my underpants when this cat was looking down at us.
If animals could talk, his or her owner would know by now that I was wearing another pair of reject underwear; white and pink polka-dotted ones with a lace trim.
Underpants, which I thought were cute, but that unfortunately cut off any blood flow to my femoral artery.
And yes, you guessed it, they’re headed to the reject pile as we speak.
So remember, someone is watching you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.