Is there really a difference between looking and seeing?


cc licensed ( BY NC ND ) flickr photo shared by elizabethdonoghue

Me: I’ve noticed you haven’t looked at me lately.

Significant Other: What are you talking about? I look at you every day.

Me: Yes, you “look” at me, but do you really “see” me?

Significant Other: And the difference between looking and seeing would be?

Me: When you “look,” your eyes remain on my person, then they blink, and finally, they look at something else. When you “see” me, your eyes lock with mine and it seems like you’re staring into my soul.

Significant Other: First off, when I “look,” my eyes don’t remain on “your person.” They remain in my eye sockets, and second, I don’t have a super power that allows me to “see” into people’s souls.
(laughs to himself)
Ha! Although that would be cool! My super hero name would be “The Seer.”

Me: The Seer? Seriously? When you can’t even see all this hotness in front of you?

Significant Other: Really? Where?

Me: I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. But tell me, is it because I’m older? Is that why you’re not seeing me?

Significant Other: You’re being ridiculous. I both look and see you all the time.

Me: Whatever. This is how it starts. Women get older and men start looking at younger women.

Significant Other: Okay, we might look at them, but ask yourself, “Are we really ‘seeing’ them?” (chuckles out loud)

Me: Well, I’m going to start looking at younger, hotter, and better built men.

Significant Other: Yep. You do that.

Me: I mean it. I am.

Significant Other: Good for you.

Me: What? You don’t think I can?

Significant Other: Nope.

Me: Why not?

Significant Other: Cause you’d have to learn the fine art of looking and seeing first.

Me: I’ve already mastered that art.

Significant Other: Really? Do you “see” me? Do you “look” at me?

Me: I do!

Significant Other: Then why have I strolled through the market, had coffee with you at “Talamini,” and purchased train tickets, all with my fly open?

Me: But…

Significant Other: (finger to his lips) Ep, ep, ep…The Seer says this conversation is over.
(zips up fly)

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53 thoughts on “Is there really a difference between looking and seeing?

  1. It’s a conundrum, if you ask me. But what a nice one to be in. Now, I know that when Henry looks at me, he doesn’t see my soul, he sees his next meal ticket. He’s wondering how long before he can make me buckle and give him another snack. On the plus, I don’t catch him gazing at younger girls. He only has eyes for me. Tell your S.O. To be like Henry, and keep his eyes on the prize. ;)

    1. Monica, that Henry! What a keeper, and what’s best, not a peep from our handsome furry friend! :) The Significant Other knows that if he wants to keep both eyes, he can only have eyes for moi! hee hee! :)

  2. hehe. he got you there, didn’t he? hahaha. My husband hates it whenever I play tricksy word games with him. “Oh honey, can you really SEE me?” He brushes it off as bullshit and then later on, when he tries to make a point, inundates me with wordplay. Men. Pshaw.

    1. Laura, that’s the bad thing about men–they complain when we do it, but feel it’s perfectly alright for them to! Argh! I say deliver more word play to your hubs! :)

    1. Michael Ann, he’s a riot when he’s not trying to be! It’s ironic, but I laugh at his serious side more than I do his funny one! :)

  3. Now that was a funny conversation!

    The trouble with wishing others to really “see” us is that we often get so caught up in it that we forget to really “see” them too. :)

    1. Ivana, you sage you, you’re so right! I think that speaks of our self involvement as humans, eh? And I’m such an attention hog, sometimes I do forget to “see” the poor guy. Shame on me! :)

    1. Amber, I’m delighted that the silly talks between the Significant Other and myself bring you enjoyment! Big smile at the thought, chica! Thank you! :)

  4. Bella, I’d like to be a fly on the wall and hear ALL your conversations with S.O. They’re so funny. Well, you could have come back by saying something like seeing into his soul does not include looking below the waist…

    1. Jann, where are you when I need you? Were I to be so lucky to have you sitting next to me at the coffee shop so you could whisper that witty comeback! :)

  5. Hmmm, Bella. You kinda walked into that one. I guess you didn’t “see” that coming. :-)
    Thanks for letting us eavesdrop. I enjoyed the exchange. :-)
    Does Hubby read your blog, btw?

    1. Thank you, Totsy! Yes, the Significant Other reads my blog and when he doesn’t, I read it to him! :) It’s funny because whenever he does something or says something that makes me go hmmm, I get this look (or so he says) and immediately afterward he says, “I just made it into one of your blog posts, didn’t I?” hee hee!

  6. This is too funny! The insecurities we face are endless – probably as a result of the thousands of airbrushed bodies we see on advertisements everyday. I can honestly say I’ve put all that behind me; then again, I’m not in a relationship!

    1. Elizabeth, I wholeheartedly agree. The media is largely responsible for how insecure and inadequate we feel at times. I stay away from fashion magazines because not only do I know they’re not reality, they have a way of making me feel like I can’t measure up. It takes a few minutes to realize you can’t measure up to something that doesn’t exist! I mean, flawless skin? Who has that? :)

    1. Chasing Joy, hello and welcome! That’s what I want to know! I say there’s a difference between just looking and seeing! Wouldn’t you agree? :)

  7. I think my husband and I have had a very similar conversation…oh well. You’ve nailed the differences between the sexes. Thanks for your comments. I do still have my youngest son at home, too. I have two more years until empty nest syndrome. How about you? It will be different, won’t it? It’s already been a big change. Debbie http://thriftygirlvintage.com

    1. Debbie, hello! I’m glad I’m not alone in these type conversations! :) The Son will be 20 this year so I’m crossing my fingers he still is not itching to leave the nest. I don’t know what I will do when the day comes!

  8. I think that people, generally, fail to “see” each other. We’re so busy running around, taking care of what needs to be done. With my boyfriend, I think we need quiet alone time–no tv, nothing–to maintain that really deep connection. Most often, we do that Sunday mornings. When we’re too busy, like we sometimes are in the summer, there are periods that doesn’t happen. I really feel it. I can tell he feels it too, but (well, he is a guy) it doesn’t register in quite the same way. So it’s up to me to make sure that it happens.

    Thanks for a great post. You do beautiful things with dialogue!

    1. June, I love that you take out special time to connect with your significant other. I also like that you eliminate distractions which I find to be one of the major problems in connecting with my Significant Other. Most of the time, our free time is consumed with the use of lap tops and other technological gadgets. I’m going to have to follow your example and insist they be turned off for some intimate quality couple time! :)

    1. Dawn, I’m tickled pink you liked it! Between you and I, there are days I don’t know what the hell he looks like! hee hee! :)

  9. Just getting over here from She Writes. What a classic conversation. It takes a million forms among couples that have been together forever. Loved the punch line — touché.

    1. Julie, hello and welcome! I’ve noticed that our conversations are one of the few constants in this relationship! Thank goodness for that cause most of the time, they make me laugh! Thanks for dropping by! :)

  10. At the risk of sounding like I’m taking sides, I have to say that Significant Other has a heckuva sense of humor. Has he even considered starting his own blog? One Sister’s Rant up against The Seer Says…..place yer bets!

    1. Rowena, you have the Significant Other in stitches, walking around all cocky! He wants to know what you think of “One Brother’s Raves”? hee hee! :)

    1. Señora Allnut, we are honored that you think we have a good sense of humor! The Significant Other says he is blown away by the kindness of my readers. As am I! Thank you for your compliment! We are tickled pink! :)

  11. Wonderful exchange. Of course, The Seer is feeling and will feel forever that he is on top of the world. Great dialogue you should incorporate into a short story, conversations between the sexes…

    1. Brenda, I’m so pleased that you like the dialogue! I think a short story that includes conversations between the sexes is a wonderful idea! I’d love to read one your conversations with your significant other! :)

  12. My husband just looked at me over lunch, said I look “placid” and asked me if my eye makeup was different today. I’ve been trying a new mascara since last week, the one with that weird little brush to get the “hard-to- reach” lashes. Weird he noticed that, since that man is legally blind!

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