Revenge of the Smurfs?

This afternoon, when the Significant Other walked in, he found me knee-deep in boxes.

“Look!” I said, holding up my precious find.

“What’s that?”

“It’s our Christmas wreath, silly.”

“And how many hours did you spend looking for that ratty thing?”

“Ratty? Nowadays they call items like this ‘vintage’.”

“Seriously? It looks like something you found by the side of the road.”

“Mock if you must. But this ‘ratty’ wreath is the first item that will decorate our home. Later this evening, you can string lights on the door. It’s time we got this party started!”

And that’s when I saw him snicker.

Ignoring his behavior, I grabbed the wreath and threw open the door.

And this is what I saw.

As I stood there with my mouth agape, I heard the Significant Other shout, “Where exactly are we stringing the lights?”

Biting my tongue, so I wouldn’t tell him exactly where he could string the lights, I surveyed the area.

Suddenly, I recalled the pounding and scraping I had heard in the morning.

Yet, I would never have thought that just a few hours later, we’d be living in a condemned building.

On closer inspection, I noticed that while the missing tiles and cardboard steps were bad, the stench was ten times worse.

I’d only been outside a few minutes and already I was lightheaded.

“Come inside before you get high,”

“What the hell happened out there?”

“They shoved a note in our mailbox notifying us that the Coop decided it was a good time to renovate.”

” It’s seventeen days to Christmas! How can this be a good time to renovate?”

“Look at it this way, this year we don’t have to fight over the fact that it’s March and the Christmas lights are still up.”

“What’s with the blue paint smeared on the walls? It looks like a whole village of Smurfs puked out there!”

“I think it’s glue. As in the glue that’s emitting fumes that’s giving Roxy and me a buzz.”

“And why are the stairs layered with duct taped pieces of cardboard?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking why the neighbor’s snowman is doing the horizontal mambo with the broom?”

“And the paint blotches on the floor?”

“A Smurf bled out. Close the door!”

Not bothering to reply, I grabbed Roxy and headed downstairs.

After breathing paint fumes, we were long overdue for a walk.

Yet upon exiting the building, this is what we found parked outside.

The Smurf getaway car?

Yes, folks, mama said there’d be days like this.

What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you as you prepare for the holiday season?

Note: If you haven’t read the post about the neighbor’s snowman and want to know what his story is, click on the link!

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64 thoughts on “Revenge of the Smurfs?

  1. Looks like your residence is having a “blue” Christmas, Bella! Seriously, you should be careful because some of that stuff might be noxious and all of you (especially Roxy) probably shouldn’t be breathing in large doses of it. Who paints a car blue, then adds little white fluffy clouds to it??

    1. Debbie, and it’s making me feel blue! :) You’re right about the toxicity. I’ve been holding little Roxy close when we go down and up the stairs. Seriously, Debbie, what a nightmare! And the smell! Ugh! Isn’t the car a hoot? Seriously, only a Smurf would decorate a car in such a manner! hee hee! :)

    1. Jodi, that’s a great way of describing this car–artsy! My Son, the artist, might beg to differ though! hee hee! I’m tickled pink you found the post funny! Love ya, sister! :)

  2. “Blue Christmas!” good one! Well done story-telling Bella, as always. I always like the ones with dialogue :-) Hey, and I like the car! I’m weird that way though. I want a purple car with flowers and swirls painted all over it. Someday…

    1. Michael Ann, you’re not weird! You’re eccentric! And that makes two of us because someday, I’m driving off into the sunset in a car decorated like a ladybug! I’m thrilled you like the post! Thank you for your kind words! :)

    1. Ariana, there’s a house for sale in the next building! Want to be my neighbor? I would love that! Think of the fun we could have! :)

  3. I haven’t had anything weird like that happened to me but this was pretty hysterical. I love how you blame it on the Smurfs. I love the line, that the smurf bled out, and the snowman doing a horizontal mambo. Honestly, that’s too, too funny. I can’t believe all this happened in one day. And forget about that car, the Smurf mobile. Funny, funny, funny is all I can say!

    Bells, next time if the SO doesn’t want to help, call me and I’ll come over and help you put up the lights. Seria un placer! ;)

    1. Monica, done! As a matter of fact, the SO can move out and you can move in! And bring Henry! hee hee! Your words of praise give me the oomph I need to get me through the day today! Because lady, with the scene outside, I need all the help I can get! Hugs! :)

  4. Bella, you were on fire writing this post!! Brava!! I would have accused you of gross exaggeration had I not seen the accompanying pix! The very idea of starting those repairs right before Christmas…noxious fumes mixing with the scent of baking Christmas cookies. Ugh. What were they thinking? They must have been of the male species. (May I add that I love the hippy-dippy 2CV?)

    1. Jann, I had to provide the evidence! I only wish I could include a scent sample as well! Although, no, cause then I’d lose all my readers! hee hee! Indeed, the Coop only has males so really, what do we expect? hee hee! The worst part is the dust that’s always creeping in through the front door. What a nightmare!

  5. Now that’s Smurf overload…

    I don’t really prepare all that much for the holiday season (I liked some of the preparation when I was a kid, confetti were cool, especially when thrown on our cat who would simply ignore it — imagine a black cat with a bunch of multicolored confetti on her), I’m too lazy both for the preparation and for the cleaning after, so, no room for the weird stuff to happen, other than almost everyone acting like the world would end the next day.

    1. Ivana, I know what you mean. I like keeping my decorating down to the bare minimum; just enough to suggest it’s Christmas. What I hate the most is having to take everything down and having to store it. Now that, I could do without! :)

  6. Two Christmases ago I had most of my household goods packed in boxes, ready for the big move that didn’t happen. I’d been expecting to be in my new home at least by Christmas. I was brewing because I’d already been packed before Thanksgiving. I think we settled for lights on the stairwell at the old house and called it a day, while sleeping on the top mattress of our beds because we had everything broken down already. For over a month, microwavable foods were the menu.

  7. Bella, such fun. To be able to make light (headed) of a perplexing situation :) I, too, have ratty, sentimental decorations I’d never part with. And the car, “How Cool!” I live in California and have never seen such a beauty. It’s all in the way one looks at things, and I’ve learned to look up, instead of down. Which you do as well. Your rants give me a grin though I don’t always comment. Happy holidays! :)

    1. Nancy! I’m delighted to see you comment! Always, friend! I think this quirky car would look right at home in Swanky California! Sexist as this sounds, I think the nostalgia over holiday decorations is a woman thing. Most men don’t know how to appreciate the loveliness of “vintage.” :)

  8. Bella,

    Please, I’m begging you. This can’t be real. No, really lmao. The bathroom, I get. I am STILL waiting for my glass tiles to be put up in my bathroom recessed shelf. Mind you, I have the tiles!!! I’m NOT bitter it’s only been three years. I do not understand men and their interior time lines. I tell you, if it weren’t for women the world would not have been built because the men would be drinking beer and playing football with brief, intense periods of activity and frequent meetings to discuss, rather than implement SMH. We are the steam that powers the engine AND sometimes the engine :)

    In any case, the car and neighbor’s decorations must be a ruse. It’s just not possible that anyone is driving around mad like this. Or perhaps, this is a sign like Annie talked about in her Mayan post. LMAO.

    I’ve seen no weird things so far but I will be sure to share them when I do. Good lock with your renovations, something tells me you will need it :).

    C.

    1. Coco! You are spot on with your observation of the weaker sex, sister! I’m telling you, I can’t get the Significant Other to do any home repairs–not even when I threaten to not cook! Between the mess in here and the mess out there, I’m losing what’s left of my sanity. Pray for me, chica! Pray! :)

  9. Wow…they really did a number on your place right before the holidays! Terribly funny though, Bella. You made me laugh…but make sure you open some windows and take plenty of walks. Love that car!

    1. Annie, is it crazy that I can totally see you and I driving down the highway in this jalopy? hee hee! Would you believe that Roxy and I went out twice this morning? And almost back to back walks! Thank goodness they resume work on Monday and hopefully the hallway will be restored before Christmas–or not. Stay tuned! :)

    1. Kim, and you always delight me with your comments! Thank you for that! Kisses for you from Roxy and me! Lets go for a ride in that quirky car! :)

  10. Bella, I think you’re right– the smurfs are living in your building! They’ve already claimed their parking space and have started to paint everything blue so they can camouflage themselves!!! Honestly, though, who decides to renovate this close to the holidays?!?! hopefully they get done all the work soon! You need to put your lights up!

    1. bwhahaha! Laura, thank you for my first morning laugh! I think you’re on to something! If I put up the lights, I might be able to see them! Okay, I’m totally looking for that box of old Christmas light now! :)

  11. ‘Smurf getaway car ‘ Ha!! I’m sorry you have that mess for the holidays but thankful for the laugh it provided.

    Love your tag line too by the way : )

    1. Ms. G, hello and welcome! Isn’t the getaway car the quirkiest vehicle you’ve seen in a while? I’m delighted to have provided you with a chuckle! And now I’m off to inspect the building. We’re on a Smurf stakeout! :)

    1. Belle, I think the moment the smurfs heard me go out into the hallway, they hid! Hence, I was cheated out of a ride in their smurf mobile! :(

  12. LOL! at both the smurfs AND the snowman. So who put the snowman at that tilted angle? Was it you? Don’t worry, you can tell me. ;-)

    1. Paz, would you believe the Significant Other asked me the same thing? hee hee! If it were up to me, I’d put him in the trash and rid him of his misery! The poor thing has been hanging in the hallway for the last eight years, you’d think it was time to retire him! :)

    1. Jayca, thank you! I’m thrilled you enjoyed the post! Seriously, there are days, and there are days. I will say this, there aren’t many days when I can complain that my life is boring! :)

  13. Oh Bella, I am sorry but your post made me laugh. Not at your misfortunes but I guess, in the way you delivered them. Also I have been feeling quite “blue” myself the past couple of days so could relate in a strange way… and smiled as the humour in your entry pulled me from my sulking.
    I do suggest you avoid the fumes but apart from that I hope this means a lovely new face to your dwelling for the new year !!
    Thank you for visiting my page and the lovely comments.. I am pleased to meet you and in turn discovered your offerings which I will now enjoy reading frequently.

    :)

  14. Hello and welcome, lady! I’m delighted you dropped by! And really, I would be insulted if you didn’t laugh at my misfortunes! hee hee! I should tell you that right before the Significant Other went to bed, I read him your comment and said, “Look at that, I’ve managed to bring a little humor into someone’s life.” He replied, “You or the Smurfs lurking outside our door?” What a kill joy, that man! Thank you for giving me something to look forward to in the New Year. Would you believe I hadn’t thought of this as a great way to ring in 2012? Thank you for being the bearer of good news! And you’re welcome. Your blog is lovely! :)

    1. How I wish I were hallucinating the mess outside, lady! hee hee! Would you believe the car was gone an hour after I took the photo, never to be seen again? I’m heartbroken! :)

  15. I heart that car. HEART. LOVE. Want to give it a hug. Want to take a picture of the miserable look on my hubs’ face when I force him into the passenger seat. Ohhh, the bliss.

    1. Hello Yen! I like how you say that the little car has been “smurfed!” hee hee! I wish I could tell you that you can take it home with you, but it was gone almost immediately after I photographed it! :)

  16. Went back and read “How many more years will we have to look at this?” Uproarious! The snowman is just weird. Yeah, I guess you will be having a “blue,blue,blue Christmas!

    And that smurf getaway car! Heeee! I adore your sense of humor ;-) I needed the giggles.

    My neighbors? They’re just Halloween freaks. Well, it’s the son who goes out of his way to present the house of horrors: graveyard, giant spiders in thick webs, Freddy Kruger, signs that say, “I’d turn around now if I were you…” You get the picture. But at Christmas they only have the front yard bushes strung with colorful lights.

    1. Debra, I love decorations, I really do but some neighbors go overboard. Lights can be festive until they’re shining so bright, you don’t need to turn on lights in your bedroom. hee hee! I also enjoy the Halloween decorations as long as they don’t have the howling and spooky music which gets old really fast! I loved that you liked the posts! Thank you for your ever kind words, sister! :)

  17. I want that getaway car! It’s adorable! You DO live in a colourful neighbourhood, I must say :) I remember a few Decembers ago we had a minor flood in our basement as a result of an ice storm and power outage (sump pump failure). Two weeks before Christmas, the disaster recovery team tore up the rec room carpet and half of all the lower drywall… just before I was expecting house guests for a week (with their accompany children). I can relate. Blue Christmas indeed. However, no matter what is going on around you … you just gotta do your thing. Go get that party started !! ~A

    1. Astra, I want you as my neighbor! Between you and I, we’d light this burb on fire, sister! hee hee! I can’t even begin to imagine the nightmare of your flooded basement. And then with company arriving! Oh my goodness! Thank goodness that is in the past and you can now laugh about it. You’re officially invited to my party! Dinner’s at 8pm! :)

    1. Amy, I will post a photo of the finished hallway as soon as it’s finished! The Smurf car is actually a Citroen, an old one. They are not a rare sight in Europe but one like this one sure is! :)

  18. Fun post! But I think you . . . and incidentally your camera, are hallucinating! No one would do that to their car! You have seen nothing . . . nothing . . . :)

    1. Diane, maybe it was all an illusion! The hallway, the broken tiles, the Smurf blue blood, the car! Nope, sorry. I just looked out into the hallway and the mess is still there. Sigh. :)

    1. Kelly, I’m so happy to see you round my wee blog, lady! And I’m thrilled you like the post! Thank you for your well wishes. We have just one more day to go and then, freedom! :)

  19. OH MY GOSH – proof of Smurfs everywhere you go!! LOVED this post and the conversation between you and S.O.! A partial Smurf wreath (it’s blue), a Smurf car, Smurf hallway, and Smurf puke – what more could you desire for Christmas??

    1. Nan, I”m up to my armpits in Smurfs! They’ve invaded the building, the parking lot and practically the town! It’s literally a “blue” Christmas, I tell you! hee hee! :)

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