What’s that I smell at the crack of dawn?

Dear Readers,

Do you remember the strawberries and cream post?

You know, the one that made you smile as you reminisced about your favorite scents and aromas?

Well, today’s post is the antithesis of that post.

Today, I plan to wax poetic about poop.

Now before you click to the next blog, I ask that you bear with me.

Hopefully there’s a lesson to be learned here and you’ll walk away a bit more knowledgeable; a bit wiser.

This morning, at precisely the crack of dawn, I was awakened by the foulest stench I have ever smelled.

Anxiously opening my eyes to see what the source was, I saw Roxy standing at the foot of my bed sporting a look that said, “It wasn’t me.”

However, the evidence laying just a foot away said otherwise.

Cursing the “poorer than a church mouse” status that prevented me from calling out to a maid named Helga, who would swiftly take care of the problem, I forced myself out of bed.

My knee joint made a peculiar noise but I soldiered on, unwilling to give in to the pain that has forced me to be on house arrest for the past month.

Giving Roxy a sharp glance, I asked, did you poopy?

(Pronounced poopee)

Roxy sheepishly hung her head and swiftly exited the room, leaving me alone with her “gift.”

I thought how wonderful it would be to have a butler, a maid, or robot I could program to take care of the smelly little pile.

But alas, such is not the case.

Grabbing the wet wipes, a bottle of bleach, rubber gloves, and a plastic bag, I took a deep breath and dug in.

The wave of nausea that assaulted me alerted me to the fact that a hazmat suit would have been better suited for the job.

Opening a window, I felt the cold make its way into the room, all 20 degrees of it.

I frowned as I realized that the delicious scent of strawberries and cream that had lingered for weeks had been replaced by the toxic smell of bleach.

Looking up to the ceiling, I quietly whispered to the powers that be, why do you hate me so much?

Roxy, this time drawn to the scene by the toxic fumes, made her way to where I stood.

Sitting on my foot, she rested her head against my leg–her way of apologizing for how the day had started.

So what’s the valuable lesson to be learned here?

It’s simple: The next time you find yourself standing by the kitchen sink at midnight, quietly scarfing down a piece of “turron” your aunt Paquita sent you from Spain and wonder if you should share some with your pleading furry friend, don’t.

Unless you have a maid named Helga.

Or a hazmat suit.

Or both.

And now, a shot of turron so you know what started this ordeal.


cc licensed ( BY NC SD ) flickr photo shared by formalfallacy @ Dublin (Victor)

How is your day coming along?

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57 thoughts on “What’s that I smell at the crack of dawn?

  1. I couldn’t stop laughing…you have such a special style with the way you share the good, the bad and the ugly. The turron looks so scrumptious, I could see why Roxy would want a bite. But your advice is a good warning. Take good care, Bella ;o)

  2. Oh, sweet Bella! :-) Nothing like a poopy post to start the day off on the right wrong foot. So sorry you had to deal with that, but thank you for the entertaining post – at your expense, I know.

    No more turron for miss Roxy! Meanwhile, I’m off to Google turron and find out what this delicacy consists of. :-) xoxo

    1. Ellen, you know how I love to entertain all of you with my good fortune or misfortune! hee hee! Indeed, no more turron for little Roxy! I think we’ve both learned our lesson! I hope you can find turron in your neck of the woods. I guarantee you will soon be addicted! xoxo :)

  3. Ah Bella, so it is YOU who must apologize to Ms. Roxy–great twist to your story!!! It’s known as torrone here in Italy and it is sooooooooo sugary (& tooth-cracklingly delicious). I guess Roxy taught you a lesson. Clever little lass.

    1. Jann, little Roxy should know better than to beg for a scrap of everything I eat but I definitely should know better to not feed her these little delicacies! hee hee! I love turron! I wonder what the Italian torrone tastes like! Oh my–I’m drooling at the thought! :)

    1. Jodi, you would not believe the amount of poopy I have had to clean these last two days! I have learned my lesson well. On the upside, our little Miss seems to be in good spirits in spite of so much, ahem, poopy activity! hee hee! :)

    1. Caryn, sadly we both thought it was a good idea at the time! Boy, was I wrong! Roxy is recuperating but she’s in high spirits and has her usual amount of energy. Thank you for your concern! :)

    1. Amy, trust me, yesterday I was wishing I was allergic to pets as well! hee hee! Thank goodness for how cute they are and how much you love them! :)

  4. Bella, you are really funny. I could just imagine the scene. I remember your other post of strawberries and this was really a total antithesis. These are some of the hazards we dog lovers and owners are faced with once in awhile. Today I brought Fudge to our Art Gallery because I didnt want to leave him alone. The first thing he goes and does is marks his turf by spraying on one of the sculpture stands. But that’s how they are and yet so adorable.

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.in/2012/11/breaking.html

    1. Naughty Fudge! But you know what that means–he’s an alpha dog! ha! Thank you for your lovely words, Rimly. Readers like you inspire wannabee writers like me to keep writing! Thank you! :)

  5. Bella, you’ve got me laughing out loud (and everybody nearby wondering what’s so funny?!). There’s nothing like being awakened by our furry friends. And their bodily needs. A couple of weeks ago, I awoke to my darling Dallas making that gagging sound that can only mean something was coming up — and it did. All over my white carpet! Talk about ruining a day. So, Poor Roxy, chin up. Mama will forgive you, too, but don’t count on more goodies after a certain hour!

    1. Debbie, Roxy wants you to know she loves you! And lady, I think your case was worse than mine! At least in my case I have hardwood floors but a white carpet? Oh my! ha! But you’re right–no more goodies after a certain hour and surely not any more turron! :)

  6. Poor Roxy and poor you! Not a good way to wake up at all…

    Despite the, ahem, unsavoury, subject of this blog post, it is still brilliant. And your pup makes my heard grow three sizes. Those eyes!

    All my best wishes for a speedy knee recovery and for an absolutely fabulous rest of your week! xx

    1. Ethel, your beautiful comment has made my day! Thank you! Roxy is a sweetheart. She looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and you’re a goner! I love her! But not her poop! I hope this episode will not be repeating itself any time soon! ha! :)

  7. Bella, where do I begin? You had me laughing so hard. I love that first photo of Roxy with her front paws on the bed. Love the photo and the colors, including that polka dot blanket draped over the chair. A definite must-have!

    But the turron is making me nostalgic for my childhood. We used to eat that ALL the time. At least, whenever someone returned from Venezuela and brought us back some. OMG, how I loved turron. I have not eaten it since. The kind we ate was hard. The times I’ve found it around here, it’s soft and not the same. I miss the hard stuff. ;)

    1. Monica, if you’re laughing, then it’s a good thing! I aim to please and am delighted that you liked the post, chica! This photo was taken at nearly 6am. Would you belive it? Thank goodness I sleep with my camera on my night stand! hee hee! I love the polka dotted blanket! I’m actually wrapped in it now! ha! And I love turron! Is there no one who can send you some turron? It’s horrible to spend the holidays without the possibility of munching on the food for the gods! ha! My aunt sent both the softer nougat and the hard one. The Son likes the hard one but I’m afraid to chew it with my teeth always suffering one mishap or another. I hope you can at least find it online! :)

  8. Ouch, that wasn’t nice for either of you.
    Have you tried Kirby? (http://www.kirby.com/) A friend of mine owns one, she says it was pricey, but she bought herself one anyway, because she has 4 cats and a snake, plus plenty of visitors. Two sweeps and cat vomit was gone, or so she told me. Sounds useful for such situations.
    Oh, and I hope your knee recovers soon!

    1. Ivana, I am definitely going to have to check out Kirby! I hope it’s not too pricey! But hey, useful things are worth paying for, right? Thank you so much for your well wishes. They are so appreciated, friend. :)

  9. A HOOT, as usual! Loved how you kept it a secret till the end.

    Turron! Looks divine. My cat would love some and then I’d be down there with the cleaner and the paper towels and a clothespin on my nose. It actually doesn’t come back as poopee; it comes back up ten minutes projectile-style (aren’t you enjoying this great detail??) such that it is not confined to one spot. Yes, that’s right, I get to truck all over the room.

    Bleh.

    Find Roxie some Turron look-alike food. 8)

    1. Eloise, I try to keep the zingers alive and kicking on these posts! hee hee! Turron tastes divine–the food of the gods, I’m sure! Your kitty sounds as naughty as Roxy, who’s always up for tasting things, even when she throws them up or poops them out later! hee hee! And really, projectile vomit is the worst! I feel for you! I’m sure that if Roxy could speak, she’d tell you to look for food that tastes like turron! hee hee! :)

  10. I didn’t know about Turron before I read this Bella. Now I won’t rest until I find some – it looks delicious :-)

  11. That turron looks delicious and I can understand why Roxy couldn’t resist having a bite. it is hard to imagine that someone so cute could make such a stinker but at least she was apologetic about it! Great post.

    1. Hi Kristine! I ask myself the same thing–so cute, so small, yet capable of…well, you know! hee hee! I’m delighted you liked the post! :)

    1. Hi LInda! Your comment made me laugh! Don’t let a little poop deter you—furry friend are such fun! And Roxy just loves you! :)

  12. Oops! Poor Roxy. I’ll bet that the next turron that comes around, she’ll be giving you that lean and hungry look yet again! Reminds me of one night last week when I gave in to temptation and had locally made chocolate malt ice cream (I’m lactose intolerant). The next day didn’t go well, but I was alone so no one else needed to suffer with me. Damn, that ice cream was good!

    1. Nadine, sometimes a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do–most assuredly when it comes to chocolate! hee hee! I’m glad you gave in to your craving. Isn’t it wonderful to be naughty every now and then? :)

  13. LOL. Oh you poor thing! I have no idea what a turron is but it sure looks too deliciously good! Wish I was there scarfing down that turron in the kitchen late at night with you!!! Hugs and no more turron Roxy Lee! Sharon

    1. Lady, we would have such fun in the process! Imagine the laughter! Roxy Lee, in spite of being sad, agrees with you–no more turron for her! Seriously though, you have to try the stuff. You’ll be instantly addicted, my friend! :)

    1. Ciaa, it always make me feel special when I came make my readers laugh! Thank you! And really, isn’t life a little nicer, a little sweeter, and a little funner when we laugh? Hugs to you! :)

  14. my dear lady, you always make me laugh (and sympathize with you!), and this ‘turrón anecdote’ is really hilarious!, and I’ve learned a useful lesson: never give christmas spanish sweets to a pet, oh my god!
    besos & turrones

    1. Ay, Mrs. Allnut, que tragedia! Pienso que no fue una buena idea! But really, who can blame little Roxy when turron is so delicious! Thank you for the support and laughter, amiga mia! Besos & risa! :)

  15. Honestly, my day isn’t going badly.. I am anxious to hear back from someone about my book. I used to have patience, well, maybe an ounce, but now.. Thanks for the smile, Bella, you always manage to do that or make me think. Appreciated.

    1. Brenda, I’m crossing my fingers that someone will call you! Keep the faith, chica. Something tells me that 2013 is YOUR year! :) I love it when you drop by! :)

    1. Lady, not only are you beautiful, but determined and persevering! I worship at your altar, sister. I am doing a bit better. Today I receive another steroid shot–super painful–but according to the good doctor, it’s supposed to improve my gait. I’m crossing my fingers! Happy December, my friend! :)

    1. Paz, I’m so happy you found that funny. To tell you the truth, that’s what I was aiming for! ha! Your share of gifts and my share of gifts make us very gifted people! hee hee! :)

  16. Bwahahahaha! We had three Old English sheepdogs. (Count ’em, three!) and when someone had an accident, all three would scatter and hide. My usual reaction? Come on, guys, it couldn’t have been all three of you! It wasn’t a group effort!
    I’m sorry that you had to start out your day in such a manner, without your maid Helga, or your hazmat suit, but please know I feel your pain!

    1. Diane, three Old English sheepdogs? You are my hero! What the heck am I complaining about, eh? hee hee! Methinks we could both do with a Helga and really, why aren’t hazmat suits part of the pet owner package? ha! Thank you so much for the company. Suddenly I’m feeling much better over Roxy’s little, ahem, “hiccup” ! :)

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