How dare you snub me?

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When we last met, Roxy was chasing a pup into the cemetery...

The minute the Significant Other and I saw the man and his furry friend, we stopped in our tracks.

I heard the Significant Other mutter, “I just gave chase to this one and her cohort and I am in no condition to do another back breaking sprint.”

We tentatively took a few steps. I whispered to Roxy and pleaded with her to be nice.

The man and his furry friend came closer.
And closer.
Until they were a foot in front of us.

Roxy, in her usual modus operandi, leaned in close. This time, the other dog did not pull away. He lifted a paw and gave a sharp bark. Soon, the two were playfully running in circles.

No teeth were barred.
No growl was heard.
Just two furry friends who had connected instantly.

Watching the scene unfold, I was reminded of how many times we humans react similarly to Roxy.

The moment we feel we are not being appreciated, liked, or acknowledged, we become angry. We lash out. We say unkind words to the person who is making us to feel this way.

We are so busy feeling nursing our hurt pride, that we don’t realize what a huge waste of time it is to expend energy on something so trivial.

If only we took a minute to process the scene before us, we’d realize that the person who is ignoring us does not have the power to render us powerless.

If we took a moment to process our indignation, we’d realize we’re reacting this way because we are letting ego get in the way. We are taking things personally and allowing the actions of others to dictate how we feel. And in the process, we are allowing our insecurities to rise to the surface.

If we recognize that we have no control over how others act or feel, we’d realize that the only one we are responsible for is us.

Had Roxy chosen to ignore and walk past the dog that snubbed her, she wouldn’t have been involved in the gnarly dog chase that ensued; she wouldn’t have pursued someone who simply wasn’t interested.

Likewise, if we recognize that it’s not a given that everyone we meet will like us, we will spare ourselves a lot of angst and frustration.

If we are able to dismiss those who cannot appreciate all we have to offer, we will realize that only we are responsible for allowing others to make us feel bad about ourselves.

In taking back our power, we will discover that our sense of being does not have to be disrupted. Instead, it can remain tranquil, at peace, the way it’s supposed to be. We will realize we don’t have to spin out of control and lose our cool.

And like Roxy, we might discover that sooner or later, someone who is smart enough to truly appreciate us will come along.

Are you ready to take back your power?

Captures of the place where Roxy lost her cool.

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58 thoughts on “How dare you snub me?

  1. Such beautiful pictures!

    I always remind myself that all I can do is present my best self to the world, and if others do not appreciate this than there is nothing I can do, except, well, continue to be a my best self. (This is of course terrible hard, when I can’t help but care what others think of me!)

    1. Vanessa, at times it’s easier said than done but we can do it! And you’re right–we can only claim responsibility for how we feel! :)

  2. Wise words, Lady Bella. It’s a hard and worthwhile lesson to learn, and it’s empowering to recognize when our ego is wrongfully engaged so we can rein it in before we give away our power.
    Love the post, love the pictures. :-) xoxo

    1. Ellen, I love the concept of our ego being “wrongfully engaged.” So true, my friend! It takes work but we must make sure that our ego is rightfully engaged! hee hee! :)

  3. Okay, it’s a good thing you have Roxy to teach you these things because I cannot. Ever. Imagine someone taking a dislike to you!
    Thank you for this oh, so thoughtful post this morning! It’s amazing how often we accept other’s actions as an attempt to snub. I wonder just how often it really is so. Is someone just pre-occupied? Shy? Or like a good friend of mine, just, at times, so caught up in his own world that he actually doesn’t notice anyone. (He and his wife were just entering the church. A friend standing on the steps greeted them with a smile and outstretched hand. My friend walked right past him and into the building. His appalled wife stopped him there. “You just snubbed _____!” He looked around. “I did? Where was he?” He hadn’t even seen him!)

    1. Diane, thank you for your kind words. For the Ipart, I find that most people like me, however, when this is not the case, I don’t lose any sleep over it. Life is too short, my friend. Your friend’s husband sounds just like the Significant Other. He too is guilty of not being very observant to his surroundings! :)

  4. Beautiful pictures dear! and you’re so right, we CAN control how we react to others, even if we cannot change the way they treat us/feel about us. Thanks for your words of wisdom!!!

    Btw, hope the ciabatta bread went well if you made it! I’ve been cooking quite a bit, so there are new recipes if you’re keen!!

    BIG HUG!f felicia

    1. Felicia, I have yet to make the ciabatta bread! Would you believe my convection oven stopped working? I made the Significant Other promise that he would not buy another one until I get back. I made the breadsticks a second time and they were great! The time they turned a bit hard, I was guilty of not packing them away in an air tight container. Live and learn, chica! Thank you for your sweet words! :)

  5. Bella, I love how you turned Roxy’s misadventure into a more human examination! Your words are so very, very true…and sometimes easier said than done. We are having problems with a neighbor (long story, but there are lawyers involved), and the hardest part of the whole ordeal is to not let him disrupt our lives. Most of the time we do pretty well, but every now and then I have a Roxy moment. Fortunately, I’m smart enough to stay away from said neighbor when I’m in a Roxy way!

    1. Nadine, you are wise as you are kind. Sometimes the best way to avoid having “Roxy moments”(love this!) is to steer clear of situations which we know might instigate them. Neighbor troubles can be a thorn in one’s side but I am confident that you will reign triumphant. Hang in there, friend! :)

  6. Love how you made this a great lesson for all! We give people our power way too often and then complain we are powerless. Time to remedy this! You say it well, Lady Bella!

    1. Jodi, I am honored given you are an expert on the subject. I learn so much from your posts! Being powerless is something we cannot afford to be! :)

  7. Oh, yes, Bella, what a waste of time and energy, not to mention misuse of ego, to hold grudges or allow others’ opinions to get the best of us. So much negativity in that!
    I’m glad Roxy took the high road and found a new friend!
    Beautiful post, my friend!

    1. Hi Martha! Yes, I found htat even in this innocent exchange there was something to be learned. Isn’t it wonderful when we encounter people who can appreciate and respect us? :)

    1. Thank you, Jann! The park is so beautiful. You can imagine how much I missed it when I couldn’t walk. I’m relieved to be able to visit again. :)

  8. Dear Bella, I’m going to answer your question about that El Naturalista’s shoes: I own three pairs and all of them are very comfortable!. I wear orthotics, so I went a size up when I bought them, and I’ve chosen the thickest sole and a chunky heel, the model is called Yggdrasil, sandals, clogs or maryjanes. I don’t recomend any other model!. The one and only problem is they’re pricey!
    besos & Yggdrasil

    1. Oh no! I am definitely going to have to try on a pair before purchasing them onine. I have really wide feet, Mrs. Allnut! Thank you so much for the information! :)

    2. Mrs. Allnut, thank you for the recommendation! I shall google the model you mention. I recently came across a pair that was for sale on Ebay and fell in love. Unfortunately, this also happened with a pair of Campers and when they arrived, they were horribly uncomfortable. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice! :)

  9. Wise words. Sometimes I think of all the time wasted in worrying about “trying to get others to like me” and how futile. A strong person would realize that we are all trying to get what we want, and “getting someone to like me” is also a power play. Giving up the need for power sometimes is the strongest thing we can do!

    1. Lady, you are so right–giving up the need for power is a stron thing to do! I confess that I used to be a control freak. Fortunately, that’s in the past. Life has taught me that it is futile to try to control others or circumstances. It’s so much easier to take responsibility for ourselves and our acts. And that’s a fact! :)

  10. Wise words and wonderful how you derived such a valid lesson from the natural inclinations of your pooch. I come from a long line of people who take offense at the least suspicion of a “snub” on the part of another, always ready to take offense. I hope I’ve overcome it, but do have to take notice if I sense my “hackles” starting to rise in response to another. Older I get, less I care what others think of me or my opinions…though it is always wonderful to feel appreciated. I hope you’re feeling the appreciation I’m beaming your way!

    1. Lynne, thank you for your appreciation! I am ever grateful.The Significant Other is still a work in progress but he too feels slighted when not given the attention he feels he deserves. Me? I’m like your older self–the older I get, the easier it is to live and let live! hee hee! :)

  11. Roxy lost her cool in a beautiful place! I’ve always heard it said that we shouldn’t give others power over us to control our emotions and actions. Doing so only makes us feel worthless and tiny. Often, people we think are slighting us are simply caught up in their own lives and problems. It really doesn’t have anything to do with us.

    “Likewise, if we recognize that it’s not a given that everyone we meet will like us, we will spare ourselves a lot of angst and frustration.” Wise words, Lady. Point well taken!

  12. How gorgeous is this place, with all of the beauty of nature in display.
    It has taken me all of my life to realize that my strong Latina temper doesn’t have to surface when I had to deal with people that are dismissed of me or that talk bad about me for no particular reasons.
    I learned to let it go because as you said there is nothing that I can do to change their minds all
    I can do is be the best me.
    However when the strong Latina temper has to come in place and get a situation under control,
    I can also do that as well and then walk away knowing that I did my part and the other person response is out of my hands.
    Que tengas un buen fin de semana mi amiga,

    1. Ofelia, I know how hard it is to control the Latina temper too well! ha! Thankfully, it’s something I’ve been able to conquer but trust me, it’s taken a long time! That said, like you mention, it also serves to help us stand our ground and be assertive! Now all we have to do is continue maintaining that perfect balance, amiga! :)

  13. So true, Bella! In my case, it hasn’t been until recently (42 – 43 years of age) that I have learned to stop taking things personally, stopped looking for outside validation. But that said, sometimes a bitc* needs to bark! (both human and non-human!) ;) Love the photos!

    1. Joy, your comment made me laugh! So true, my friend, so true! I’m happy that you’ve found how signfiicant self validation is. This is proof how it’s never to late to learn a good lesson! :)

  14. I think we all have to learn this lesson sooner or later. Most of the time, as you noted, we haven’t a clue what’s going on inside of someone’s mind. Sure they might be thinking bad things about us, but probably not. Most likely they are fighting their own demons. Truth is.. some people are going to like us for who we are and others won’t. Tis the way of world. Loved the pic of Roxy at the end of the path.

    1. Brenda, I’m tickled pink you liked the post and the photos! Actually, it’s a cat at the end of the path! hee hee! Roxy spotted it as soon as we entered but she didn’t spook it away! :)

  15. Bella, I’m so glad Roxy worked it out and was able to play with the other dog. What a beautiful park. I absolutely love your photos. The little bird house is exquisite. OMG, how I’d love to take Oliver and Henry there. I crave the solitude your photos evoke.

    1. Monica, I’m delighted you like the photos! Would you believe half these shots were taken in the cemetery where Roxy chased the other furry friend? I saw this little bird house on a tree close to a grave and thought it would make a neat photo! Now you know why I love to sit there to catch the sun’s rays! :)

  16. What a perfect line: “someone who is smart enough to truly appreciate us will come along.” That’s what happened to me when Alpha Hubby came along – he was verrrrrry smart. He appreciated me. I’m so glad I waited for him and didn’t compromise! I know exactly how Roxy felt. I’m just glad I learned this lesson you posted about!! Excellent post! LOVE the flowers and pictures – makes you want to move into that park and live there.

    1. Nan, your story is the perfect example of how good things come to those who wait! This park is next to the cemetery and like Monica pointed out, the shots evoke the calm that it inspires. I love sitting there on sunny days, soaking up the sun, and getting in touch with nature. It also helps to inspire many of these posts! :)

  17. Sometimes our ego is our worst enemy. If only we would repeat occasionally: “Not everyone I meet wants to play with me, and it’s fine. I’m fine.” Easier said than done, of course.
    Love the photos!

    1. Ivana, too right, my friend. We have to establish parameters so as to not let ego get ahead of us. I love your way of thinking!So happy you liked the photos! :)

  18. Wow, this came at the time when I was wrestling with how to handle someone who rubs me the wrong way….even though I know it’s not me, it’s them….the human side of me gets me into combat mode and I’m almost waiting to snap back. Hmmm, how many times can we ignore those who rub us the wrong way? Thanks Bella….I can see clearly now that I’ve read this post…LOL

    1. Eve, I think it’s a normal reaction to be on the defensive in the presence of someone we don’t like or who’s a bit antagonistic. I wish there was an on/off switch so we could turn off our combative side from time to time. hee hee! I find that most of the time, it’s best to consider the source. If he or she is not someone we hold in high regard, then why waste mental and physical energy, right? :)

  19. You are a wise person. I gave up worrying about whether I’m liked long ago. Of course, I would LIKE it if everyone I met liked me but they don’t. Oh well.

    Roxy sure lost her cool in a beautiful place.

    1. Nora, that she did, friend! I’m not like Roxy in that regard. I find myself losing my cool in less appealing places. hee hee! We are going to have to adopt your nonchalant attitude a bit more often. Kudos to you for feeling this way! :)

  20. Oh Bella! Firstly, the pictures are marvelous! My favorite is of the wee birdhouse! :) And this post really struck a chord with me because, well… I used to be a lot bitchier than I am now. I mean, i still am, but NOT AS MUCH. :) I think it’s because I may just be socially awkward and shy, though, and I just don’t know how to act in social settings. Anyway, lots of people have gotten so turned off with being friends with me and it feels like it’s kinda too late to turn back the clock and mend those relationships. :(

    PS. Thanks for your comment on my post on dichotomies! I’m so curious about why people have termed it “plus” sized clothing too. There clearly are no “minus” sizes, like you mentioned. But I guess the technical term for them are “straight” sizes. Whatever the hell that means.

    1. Laura, I can’t imagine you being bitchy at all! I think you are one of the sweetest people I know! And I think it’s never too late to mend fences. If life has taught me anything, it’s that a simple apology goes a long way. That said, it’s never easy to apologize but if in fact you feel responsible for the severed relationships, why not try to fix things? :) Bad thing with shyness it’s that it’s often mistaken for being “stuck up.” But methinks you’re great just the way you are! Straight sizes? Really? OMG. Color me clueless! hee hee! :)

    1. Hi Paz! After the little incident, Roxy had a great time! Just goes to show you that one bad moment doesn’t necessarily have to ruin an afternoon! So happy you like the photos! :)

    1. Soul, Roxy is honored and tickled pink that she was able to inspire you! And I’m over the moon to see you again! How are you, lovey? I hope all is well and happy on your end! :)

  21. I love your analogy Bella. Deep down we are all animals I suppose. Looking closer at their actions and reactions can help us understand our own. And your pictures look so peaceful. No wonder you enjoy walking there.

    1. Renee, so true! I too find it easy to see the resemblance between us and them! This park is indeed quite peaceful. I love going there to unwind and regroup! :)

  22. WOW, Bella. You are such a wise woman my friend. I am taking this post to heart as I simply needed to read this today. I am on vacation and have to stifle myself here and there as travel is quite difficult when you’re with people you love day in and day out. This post is a good reminder to assess and not take every little thing personally..THANK YOU! I also thank you for your sweet visit recently. I hope all is well in your world! wishing you a lovely week of discoveries and experiences for you, your SO and sweet little Roxie. I love that she teaches us all good lessons. : )

    1. Shirley, you know how much I love it when you drop by my blog, don’t you? Thank you for your sweet words, lady. Here’s wishing you a lovely vacation! I’m grateful for your taking the time to leave a comment! Roxy sends you kisses and hugs!:)

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