Where, oh where is the one that got away?

beach 2

We all have one.

Thoughts of what if allow our minds to wander.

We play house, picture ourselves living in different lands, different continents.

Closing our eyes, we see ourselves carrying out the role of wife, mother, lover.

We drift.
We dream.
We yearn.

And for a couple of brief moments, we think how different our lives would be.

The one that got away.

The one we thought we were destined to be with, grow old with.

We question why it didn’t work out.
Why we’re not in his life.
Why we let him go.

We curse destiny.
Scream profanities at fate.
Demand the universe give us answers.

Where is he?
Why did he go?
Why did we let him get away?

We think of a time when we were inseparable.

A time when his voice gave us goose bumps, when his laughter left us breathless, when his touch turned us into liquid butter.

A time when we were happy.

Staring out into the sea this morning, I experienced the shifting of worlds.

Slowly walking into the water, my mind waved goodbye to my body and effortlessly traveled to another place in time.

A whimsical place, bathed in sunlight, and bright colors.

The place where my heart told me I was destined to be.

One where he and I equaled two.

Two people in love.
Together.
Always.

No leaving.
No chasing.
No getting away.

A trio of children splash water nearby.

I open my eyes and realize I’ve left the alternate reality where he lives; where we live.

A deep sigh fills my lungs with air.

I breathe in the present.

A salty tear falls softly, intermingling with the salty water below.

The one that got away.
The one who left me breathless.
The one who made my heart sing.

He drifts further away.

Hands outstretched, I reach out.

And once again, he gets away.

The Mediterranean Sea.

Powerful inducer of dreams.
Formidable fantasy spinner.
Brilliant creator of what should have been.

Taking one last look at this lovely lady, I swim back to shore.

beach 1

beach 3

What prompts you to think of the one that got away?

Dreaming in sunny Spain,

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43 thoughts on “Where, oh where is the one that got away?

  1. Oh, Bella, I can’t begin to tell you how much this moved me! I had a college love, and thought “he was the one.” It didn’t work out . . . Years later, when he was divorced and my husband had passed away, he got in touch. We connected. Guess what? It still didn’t work out!
    However, he dared me to try E-Harmony. I accepted the dare. Through this, I found my Danny, the love of my life. Haven’t looked back since . . .
    Beautiful post, my friend! Keep dreaming in sunny Spain!

    1. Martha, what a lovely love story, your Danny and you! I love it when stories have a happy ending like yours, my friend! I’m tickled pink you like the post. It’s funny how inspiration comes after witnessing things and places, isn’t it? Hugs! :)

  2. Isn’t it funny, the things that will trigger those thoughts? For me, it’s doing everyday, mundane chores and wondering what ‘he’ would think of me if he saw me now. I like your way much, much better. Give me a beach and the brilliant sun shining off the blue Mediterranean any day! Sigh.

    1. Diane, you’re so right, my firend! It is funny! To think there are times when I try to find the perfect time, place, and day so as to invite my muse to inspire me and nothing! Just goes to proove that you can’t force inspiration. You would love it here, I’m sure of it! :)

    1. Mrs. Allnut, thank you for providing us with the links to the song and lyrics. I love old music! It seems like music nowadays doesn’t have the poignant lyrics present in older songs. Isn’t that a shame? Keep smiling, my friend, because when you smile, I smile! :)

  3. Beautiful! You’ve captured that feeling of yearning so perfectly. There’s something about summer and beaches that induces nostalgia.

    When I look back at “what might have been,” it’s usually a different version of myself that I’m longing for. Then I think about what I’d have to give up to be that person and I decide I’m happier right where I am.

    1. Shary, I couldn’t agree more–summer and the beach are the perfect combination to invoke nostalgia! I love your perspective. Not only do you make perfect sense, but you remind us how many times the one that got away wasn’t happy enough with who we were. :)

  4. Sweet and poignant.

    These days I have the relationship that made all those heartaches worthwhile. I feel fortunate in that regard. My yearnings are there, though…not for a lost love, but for the children I didn’t get to have. All these years later, it’s still hard for me to hold a baby.

    1. Oh, Nadine, I can only imagine how difficult that kind of yearning must be like. Thinking of what might have been always make me wonder how different my life would be. Hugs for you, dear lady! :)

    1. Kim, have I told you how grateful I am for your continuous support? Because I am, lovely lady! Love to you from Roxy and me! :)

  5. More often than not, my thoughts are brought on by a combination of weather circumstances, like an overcast day with a particular smell on the breeze. I’m taken the the time I smelled that with him. Or when I’m driving.

    1. Laura Beth, the weather does it for me all the time. There’s nothing like a windy or rainy day to make my mind wander to an alternate destiny! :)

  6. So beautiful and poignant! I googled “him” once, a few years back. Then I put my mind to WHY we split and I give thanks to God above for my Alpha Hubby and his totally unconditional love. That “him” would probably have continually broken me & my heart. I walked away for a reason. That young love wasn’t true love or it would have been a real love that lasted. A line I read recently, “Forever has a way of happening when least expected and in ways not even imagined.” My unexpected forever began with Alpha Hubby.

    1. Nan, as you know, I’m in awe of the love you and Alpha Hubby have. May blessings continue to fall upon you always. Oh, and please know your love continues to inspire me! We can have it if we’re with the right person. Absolutely! :)

  7. Dear Bella, beautiful yet sad at the same time.
    Beautifully written indeed.
    How do yo u come up with the words? I could feel your sadness and it really made me think.
    Cheers,
    Frans

    1. Frans, thank you for your kind words. You know, I find inspiration in the most unlikely places. Sometimes, my muse will drop in for a visit when I’m on the bus, standing in line at the supermarket, or even when I hear a song. When this happens, I have to drop everything and write. I find the words pour out of me effortlessly. Other times, not so much. hee hee! :)

  8. Beautiful photos, beautiful thoughts, Bella. They’re so relate-able because we’ve all been there. “The one who got away” happened for a reason. Perhaps we outgrew each other, perhaps we just moved on. Hopefully, toward something better!

    1. Debbie, you are most definitely the voice of reason. ha! Let’s pray that we were all lucky enough to move toward something better! hee hee!:)

  9. Know what they say about “be careful what you wish for?

    I “got” the one who got away. The man who had filled my teen dreams, who I briefly dated when I was 18, and then 30+ years later, our hearts and lives came together. Bliss! For a moment.

    He was mentally ill, and alcoholic, but I didn’t realize it until I moved in with him. Thought it was grief, stress, ME. He only hit me once, and threatened to blow my brains outs… well, too many times. I finally escaped…but I could so easily have been another DV statistic.

    Sometimes it’s better to let the one that got away, GET away, and enjoy the memories and fantasies from a safe distance.

    1. Beverly, I’m sorry! Thank you for reminding us that sometimes, things do happen for a reason. Not all women are as lucky as you. I’m so glad you were able to get away unharmed. Indeed, we never know how things will turn out. Perhaps it’s like Debbie says, while the one gets away, we move on to something better! :)

  10. Loved this post! I can relate….so well. I think about the one that got away often. Usually it’s when thing in life don’t go well or when I’m sad or depressed. I wonder if my life could have been happier if he hadn’t left. It’s too bad I’ll never know!

    1. Hi Becky! Yes, I find this is also true for me. Sadness does have a way of making us leap into alternate realities, doesn’t it? So does loneliness. Yes, yes it does. On the plus side, I do find the air of mystery attractive! ha! :)

  11. Que lindo, Bella! Serene, haunting and yet it fills me with nostalgia. Where do I begin. So many have gotten away. But I guess I’d have to go back to high school. He was the first and I’ll always feel a pain in my heart because of him. Hope you and Roxy are doing well in sunny Spain. Your photos are always so beautiful.

    1. Monica, thank you for your kind words, chica. I love that you like my photos! How I yearn for a better camera! ha! And need I mention how much I am enjoying reading about the one who got away from you? :)

  12. Bella, in my case, they all got away. This might sound ridiculous but really, they all did. I cried hard and felt so bitter and rejected when they did, but with God’s help, I was able to move on and learn to trust in His plans for my (love) life.

    I loved this melodramatic piece, Bella. It brought back so many memories, and also reminded me of the so many lessons I learned from all those heartbreaks. Thank you. <3 :-)

    1. Irene, your trust in God’s plan in inspiring! There’s a reason for the saying that “faith moves mountains,” my friend, and I think you know this all too well. Indeed, heartbreaks do give us life lessons! I just wish some of them wouldn’t hurt so much, you know? You are wise as you are beautiful, lovely lady! :)

  13. Bella, I loved reading this. That strong Spanish sun has moved you…and us. I had a few “get away” and while it hurt at the time, I’m now sooooo glad! (I followed their lives from afar.)

    1. Your words make my heart sing, Jann! Grazie mile! Indeed, there’s something magical about this place that calls out to my muse. I hope I was successful in invoking the nostalgia I felt after looking at that beautiful sea. Yes, amica, it’s only after time has passed that in many cases we’re able to breathe a sigh of relief. Sadly, there are also times when the longing still haunts us. Sigh. Hugs to you! :)

  14. I don’t think of that too much, Bella. I’m the one that got away, actually. Poor fella must be missing my southerness and all. He’s probably sitting in some loony bin with a white jacket and looking at padded walls. :-)

  15. Oh so beautiful……most of us have one that got away…for me, it was a middle school crush who I lost touch with when I moved away, and then his memories kind of faded. Years later, he found out my address, and wrote to me, telling me his heart still drummed for me…but I wasn’t sure. Hurt, he got away. He is now a Oncologist, and I came across him by chance….has a lovely wife and a lovely life. I too have – with God’s blessings – a fulfilling life….still, it does make me wonder…what if….sigh!!! So nice to have come across this. Just made me smile.

    1. Minne, hello and welcome! Oh my, an oncologist– letting that one get away would really have hurt me! hee hee! The “what if” gets me every time, it really does! So happy to have made you smile! :).

  16. A guy I went to school with just fell over with a heart attack. He was my age and now gone. Although I wasn’t close to him, the realization of how short life can be has me thinking of a lot of things just now.

    Love your pics. You lucky duck. That coast must be hard to take day after day. *wink*

    1. Oh Renee, the sadness of it all! I have a very hard time processing the demise of people so young. I really do. I think it’s because we’re conditioned to believe that we’re supposed to die at a ripe, old age. Love that you love my shots! Thank you for your kind words, lady! :)

  17. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Those photos were just what I needed to transport me this morning. Thank you!

    To answer your question, he didn’t get away. I married him. Yet, he was so grumpy this morning that if he didn’t “get away” to work I might have killed him. Which reminds me. We’re out of coffee.

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