Are these what you call close encounters of the Speedo kind?

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Dear friends,
I’m very excited to finally publish this post. Why? Because it’s due time we all enjoyed a good laugh.

I confess it wasn’t easy to capture these shots. With the Daughter unable to join me this summer, I didn’t have a decoy. As a result, I got the stink eye from avid Speedo wearers on more than one occasion.

However, not one to stray from my mission, I donned a large hat and sunglasses and pretended I was photographing the Mediterranean sea.

Over, and over, and over.

Some of these shots will make you groan, others will make you cringe, and the last one will restore your faith in men’s ability to select appropriate beach wear.

In the past, earlier Speedo posts have been a bit controversial.
Hence, I want to address the issue by stating the following:

To any reader who thinks it’s his or her right to defend Speedos and the men who wear them, I say, don’t bother. Not only because this post is done in good fun, but also because you are never going to convince me there’s a reason for men to go out in public wearing something that resembles an undersized loincloth. As far as I’m concerned, the only man who’s ever been able to pull off a Speedo has been Michael Phelps, and that’s only because he wore it in a tub. So instead of going on a useless crusade, I suggest you sit back, check out the photos, and chuckle to your heart’s content.

Camouflage attire is a must when going on a Speedo mission.
Camouflage attire is a must when going on a Speedo mission.
Glasses and a hat--the perfect way to disguise you and your companion when a Speedo is in attendance.
Glasses and a hat–the perfect way to disguise you and your companion when you’re wearing a Speedo.
This man gave me the stink eye when I captured his self-made Speedo.
This man gave me the stink eye when I captured his self-made Speedo.
Add a bikini top and this man and his wife look like they're wearing twin suits.
Add a bikini top and this man and his wife look like they’re wearing twin suits.
The self-made Speedo--for those times your real Speedo is in the wash.
The self-made Speedo–for those times your real Speedo is in the wash.
I don't know what's more disturbing, the addition of a yellow swim cap or the emerging butt of the blue Speedo user.
I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the addition of a yellow swim cap or the emerging butt of the blue Speedo user.
Not even a tattoo gives this Speedo an edge.
Not even a tattoo gives this Speedo an edge.
Next up, the  Speedo and back hair combo.
Next up, the Speedo and back hair combo.
This year's hottest trend--the Speedo boy shorts.
This year’s hottest trend–the Speedo boy shorts.
A large tote bag--something to carry the board shorts he should be wearing, perhaps?
A large tote bag–something to carry the board shorts he should be wearing, perhaps?
When you manage to pry your eyes away from the six pack, I urge you to look at what stylish and appropriate beach wear looks like.
When you manage to pry your eyes away from the six pack, I urge you to look at what stylish and appropriate beach wear looks like.

When and where was your last Speedo encounter?

XOXO,

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31 thoughts on “Are these what you call close encounters of the Speedo kind?

  1. Fascinating stuff. To be honest some didn’t look too bad. As long as they have a great body, I think it’s okay to wear. But only two that I saw fit that bill. The rest, por Dios. Thank goodness you included the last photo, so that’s the one I’ll always remember. Why can’t they all just go for that look? If you ask me, you have to have a great shape and be between 18 and 30 to wear a Speedo. ;)

    1. Trust me, Monica, they ALL looked bad. Except the last one. ha! Yes, I thought it was unkind to not leave you with an ooooh aaaahhh shot after subjecting you to so much emotional distress. hee hee! :)

    1. Ariana, you are sweet! Yes, this nonchalant, look at me if you want European attitude is to be admired. Frankly, I wish I had the guts to throw on a bikini and look half as self assured as some of these gents! ha! :)

  2. I wish I had the body confidence to wear a bikini! Maybe some if those gentlemen should have a little less. :)

    And what is up with that self-made speedo?

    Thanks for that little outing to the beach… Made my day!

    1. Hi Shary! I just mentioned the exact thing to Ariana. It does take guts to go out in public wearing a strip of cloth and without a care in the world! I’ll give them that! hee hee! The self made Speedo is another freak of nature. It’s like the nananana doo doo version of a Speedo! Hugs to you and Lola from Roxy and me! :)

  3. dear lady, I’ve frequented spanish beaches for years, so I must to recognize there’s nothing too strange for me in your pics!, I think I’ve been overexposed to speedos!
    And you look really pretty wearing your hat and sunnies!
    besos & risas

    1. Mrs. Allnut, would you believe I’m still trying to condition myself to the sight, I don’t know how many years later? I still have to hide my face in my towel so I can giggle! hee hee! I’m so pleased you like my attempt at a fashionable disguise! Besos y carcajadas! :)

  4. Bella, I needed a laugh and you didn’t disappoint — thank you! I’m with you 100%; most of these poor fellas made the unfortunate choice of inappropriate beachwear. The guy in the last, the one with the abs, well, he’s dressed just right. What beautiful, warm-looking beaches you have — and I love your disguised photo (golly, you have beautiful toofies, my friend, heehee!)

    1. Debbie the “toofies” comment had me smiling from ear to ear! You know, I’ve always been a bit self conscious about my teeth. If you look closely, you’ll notice one of them sticks out a bit. My nephew used to tell me I had “little vampire” teeth! hee hee! And you’re right–these poor chaps made many fashion faux pas! ha! :)

  5. Bella,

    Always on the hunt for a good laugh, I found myself HERE. Now, that’s what I call perfect timing.

    Wait….

    Sorry, needed a moment catch my breath lmao. Ok no, a loud resounding no. The Speedo belongs in the bedroom. Same way not all women can rock the itsy bitsy teeny avenue yellow polka dot bikini, men need to place their hubris aside and face facts.

    The shots are hysterical! Sadly, or perhaps joyously, I can report my only exposure to Speedos a la 2013 has been through your blog. A tiny part of me is glad ;)

    Hope all is well.

    Hugs,

    L.

    1. Coco, your comments always, always make my day! I’m so happy to see you visiting my wee blog again. I have missed your savvy wit! Sorry to subject you to such torture but sometimes, laughter comes with a price! ha! Hugs to you! :)

    1. It’s the least I could do, eh, Renee? hee hee! When I saw this guy coming out of the water, I just had to grab my camera. And this time, no chortling! hee hee! :)

  6. Bella today your post inspired me to look at pictures of men in Speedos and sister let me tell you the Golden Rule is: If when that Joker looks down, he can’t see the color of his Speedo, he probably should not be wearing one. Deuces hee hee.Love your picture you look amazing!!

    1. Angie, I’m so happy to see your comment! Thanks for the giggle. As always your words are not only funny, but wise. ha! So happy you like the photo! Check out the nifty sunnies! :)

    1. Nora, sorry for the lateness of my reply, but after a month of doctors’ visits and intensive therapy sessions, I’m attempting to get back in the saddle. Sigh. Ah yes, the last picture. It’s the least I could do after subjecting you to such torture! ha! :)

    1. Corinne! I’m twirling, I’m so happy to see you here again! You’re very welcome, my friend! Please come back and visit more often! I miss you! :)

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