Do you qualify to be someone’s person?

Childhood best Friends

A person.

My person.

Individuals who made a difference in my life were assigned the title “my person” long before Shonda Rhimes introduced it in the television series, “Grey’s Anatomy.”

Some of the traits that characterize this individual have varied throughout the years, while others have remained the same.

Tonight, as I sat on the couch with only Roxy for company, I realized it’s been a while since I’ve called anyone “my person.”

Wrapping my fingers around a steaming mug of coffee, I pondered what a job profile for this esteemed position would be like. Quickly grabbing a notebook, I began to scribble what I deemed would be essential traits.

When I finished, my list looked something like this:

~ Must be willing to listen without judgement or criticism

~ Must possess the ability to comprehend verbal and non verbal communication, including profanity, slang, and unintelligible babble

~ Must possess empathy, kindness, and compassion

~ Must be able to both listen and hear, without interruptions, and for prolonged periods of time ~ Should possess restraint to keep from offering advice and other “fix it” type suggestions

~ Must be patient, sensitive, and supportive

Optional but favorable skills include:

~ Ability to make “personee” laugh, giggle, and feel like his or her situation has a solution

~ Ability to soothe, placate, and provide reassurance

~ Willingness to commiserate, validate, and offer a shoulder to cry on

Note: Willingness to bring good wine will guarantee potential candidates an automatic second interview

Note: Clock watchers, critics, and pseudo intellectuals need not apply

Yes, I’m certain this is how a “person’s” job profile would read.

Why? Because I’m convinced these are universal needs; needs that require us to reach out to our person in times of duress.

In times we feel lonely.
In times we feel completely alone.

A person.

We should all have one.
Every one of us.

Because no matter how tough, strong, and empowered we think we are, there are times we need to hear, “I am here. Talk to me.”

Do you have a person?

32 thoughts on “Do you qualify to be someone’s person?

  1. I have a person. I say that ’cause she knows how to keep her mouth shut about my stuff. I need to get a back-up ’cause if something happened to her, unfortunately, I wouldn’t have a person. I would want my person, and I’ll have to talk to her about this, to bring me chocolate every now and then too. A girl just needs that sometimes.

    1. Oh, Totsy, how in the world could I have left out chocolate as one of the person requirements? You make a good point, girlfriend! :) Get busy on assigning a back up STAT! :)

  2. Hey, thanx Bella for this one. Realised I am blessed with a few my persons and that makes me truly blessed. What a happy note to start my day on.

    Thanks again. Kisses to you and Roxy.

    1. Hello Fiona! How wonderful to be blessed with so many “persons”! I am delighted you are in such good company! Kisses and hugs to you from Roxy and me! :)

    1. Martha, bless your husband for possessing such wonderful qualities! However, truth be told, given how kind you are, it must be delightful to be your person! Blessings to you and yours! :)

  3. Oh B, this was a GREAT post. The only true person I have in my life is Alpha Hubby. He is the only one who ever learned who the real me is, loves me unconditionally, stands up for me (and to me), makes my life fun, and is someone I enjoy. He does have all those qualities you mentioned! And you’re one of my favorite e-persons!!!

    1. Nan, sweetheart, you are lucky to have Alpha Hubby! I know the specialness of your relationship and how it nurtures you as a human being. We should all be so lucky, my friend! And for the record, you’re one of my favorite e-persons as well! :)

  4. I’m glad to report I have a person, Bella.There have been times when I’ve mistakenly thought some people were my persons – but it turned out they weren’t. Love your list and totally agree. ♥

    1. My dear Corinne, I know that in the past you’ve been disappointed. It happens to the best of us. Fortunately, as you already know, this is part of the process of helping us appreciate those who truly matter. Hugs to you, Jose, and Pablo from Roxy and me! :)

  5. I do have a person. It took me the first 20yrs of my life to find my person…little did I know I literally knew her before WE were born. My twin sister is my person. Always.

    1. Oh, lady, you are lucky! Growing up, I always wanted a twin sister! Both my sisters serve as my persons. I don’t pay them enough for all they put up with! hee hee! :)

  6. Bella, my dear, I’ve MISSED you! And what a delightful, thoughtful post to bring you back.
    You know, sometimes having a “person” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. While I, too, have a person, sometimes it’s a DOG who fulfills the qualifications we need — nonjudgmental, non-talkative, totally understanding and sympathetic — somebody who brings us a leash and demands we get up off our butt and take a walk!!

    1. Debbie, I can always trust you to enhance my posts with your wisdom! Thank you, my friend! You are so right–furry friends make wonderful persons! Both of us are blessed with having unconditional love from these “little people.” Amen to that! :)

  7. I’ve missed you Bella

    I don’t have a person. I guess I must stop hoping and manage without. i don’t mean I don’t have friends or people I can talk to, but someone I’m totally open with and not feeling guilty about it? No, I don’t.

    1. Ah, Nikky, I’m so sorry you don’t have a person. Please know that you have many “virtual” friends that care for you and wish you the best! Hugs! :)

  8. Ciao dear Bella, I’m so glad I finally figured out how to open up your blog. Do you know that Safari would not open it? It’s most likely my computer’s problem… but I finally figured out (thanks to “my person”) that I could copy and paste the address into Firefox. My person (hubby) has all the traits you mentioned–or most of them at least–and in addition he’s a technophile, which nicely balances out my technophobia. Hugs and kisses to you xxxx

    1. Jann, thank goodness your person is technologically savvy! I too fall short of the mark when it comes to managing technology. Unfortunately, I lack a technophile in my life! hee hee! Hugs and kisses to you! :)

  9. Hey Bella lady….great post and sooooo glad the WINE was on the list. I have a person and she’s practically like my twin… brown sugar sister understands ALL of me and I her. Talk about having a soul-sister.

    Enjoyed your post as usual…..

    1. Oh, Eve, you gotta love those soul sisters! There’s no one like them! My sisters are my soul sisters. They’re there every step of the way. Bless them and yours! Delighted you enjoyed the post, chica! :)

    1. Indeed, Kim, Kay can never be replaced. Thankfully, you do have a wonderful net of supportive friends and loved ones. There are days when we can only get through the day with them to lean on. Roxy has been a little under the weather. She tried to nip at a large dog whilst walking with the Significant Other and she fell over backward, hurting her hip area. She’s currently on the mend, poor thing. I’m hanging in there and praying with all my heart that 2015 will be a good year for all of us. Hugs! :)

    1. Nora, I’m so glad you have a few people you can count on. Consider yourself a very lucky lady, my friend! (I think it helps that you’re so nice and funny!) :)

  10. Hi Bella, beautiful post! Yes i have one very close to me. In the past i had few persons but i realised its alway me that has to get into contact with them,, but think after few years not really seeing them i could still call them my persons,, (so if i would contact them myself again..)

    1. Rabbit, sometimes the people we call our “persons” drift away and that’s quite sad. I hope your person is someone you can count on to have your back when you need it. That’s the most important thing! :)

  11. How did I miss this? Sorry I’m late to the party! :) I’m fortunate, I live with a person. My daughter. She listens to my silliness and sometimes my pithy statements. She sympathizes and/or kicks my butt when needed. She is my person.

    1. Diane, how wonderful to have such a gem for a daughter! Does she love listening to your stories? I know I love reading about your childhood escapades! Hugs to you, my friend! :)

  12. Hi Bella. I think our blogging friends are sometimes the best, except for the wine bringing quality. That is hard to do in cyberspace. In real life, I have my husband, a relatively new friend — 4 yrs. — a twenty year friend, a close to forty year friend, and a group of friends who have no fear in going after their dreams — all in various stages of years I have known them. So just in writing this comment, I am counting my blessings. What a gift your post has been to me today! Thank you and Happy New Year.

    1. Hello Rene! How fortunate you are to count with so many persons! Indeed, blogging friends can be extremely supportive and encouraging. I’m delighted you liked the post and I hope your 2015 is filled with good health, happiness, and laughter! :)

  13. Hi Bella, All too true. My heart kinda broke when Cristina left. It’s not the same when you lose proximity to your person. I used to think I had many persons and now I’m down to one. Apparently, said person’s are not always what they appear smh. Ah, but when they are it is magical and life affirming. I agree wholeheartedly with your list. Wine Stat :). Hoping you are well. Hugz.

    1. Coco, I did not see the departure of Cristina coming. I have to say the series is not the same without her. That said, like you mention, sometimes we’re down to one person. Methinks that if that person has your back, then that’s all you really need. And if they bear gifts of wine, all that much better! hee hee! So happy to see you on my wee blog, my friend! :)

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