Good day, everyone!
Bella here, reporting barely alive from hot, sunny Spain.
Can anyone say sweltering heat which leaves you dehydrated and one step away from heat stroke?
Whoever said it was sunny in Spain was not jesting, folks.
I’m certain no one, and I mean no one, suffers from a vitamin D deficiency in this country.
You’d think throwing on a hat would help, but the sun is so bright, that a full blown Mexican sombrero wouldn’t make a bit of a difference.
Most days I want to walk through the streets with an open beach umbrella, and if I hit people on the head or poke their eyes out, then it’s their fault.
After all, they should be walking with an open umbrella of their own.
When the lovely Spanish ladies Señora Allnut and Sacramento said it was hot here, they weren’t kidding.
However, I hold them responsible for not warning me to bring an oxygen tank which would allow me to walk more than five steps without feeling like I’m going to pass out.
And given Javier Bardem is not available to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation, this is a catastrophe I want to avoid until he is located.
Hence, the only thing I can do is walk around with a liter of water, a fan, and an ID bracelet.
After all, the hospital staff should know whom to contact in the event I fall and bonk my head, become delirious, or start hallucinating that I’m in the Sahara desert.
The police should also have emergency contact information in case I start removing my clothes to streak through tourist populated streets.
As for the Spanich locals, I’m certain they’ll laugh from their shaded doorways, having come to expect this type of behavior from amateur visitors who cave under the heat.
So what’s a woman to do given these circumstances?
Walk around with a liter of
sangria water, the European emergency number 112 on speed dial, and huge Jackie O. sunglasses.
Because don’t think for one minute you can leave the premises without a pair of shades.
Unless you want to be blinded by the sun, develop permanent wrinkles from squinting, or walk around with only one eye open.
(The later allowing the non-working eye to take breaks.)
Yes, Spain is not for the faint of heart.
It’s hot, there’s no humidity in the air, and did I mention it’s hot?
But it’s beautiful.
And sometimes, that’s all that matters.
Where are you spending your summer?