Image by Evan Leeson
A close friend called last night to tell me her divorce had been finalized.
Twenty three years of hardships and struggles had finally come to an end.
“I guess now I can tick the box that says single on my tax return” she said through her tears.
Hearing her sob on the other end, I felt confused.
During the two years it had taken for her divorce to become final, I had heard her talk about how unhappy she was, of how she felt like a prisoner in her home, how she wished she could break free.
Yet the day had arrived and she had welcomed it sobbing.
“What will I do now?” she wailed. “I feel utterly incomplete.”
For once, I was at a loss for words.
Should I tell her to host a party to declare her new state of independence, or should I voice the old adage of “This too shall pass”?
I did neither.
Instead, I listened to her fears of starting over, of finding her place in the world, of joining the ranks of single mothers who struggle to raise their children.
And when she was done, I simply said:
You’ve been given the chance to do something many women wish they could do but don’t.
You’ve been given the chance to start over.
To live your life the way it was meant to be lived.
Without someone policing your every move.
You deserve to be loved unconditionally, without having to act, be, or look a certain way.
You deserve to be appreciated, respected, admired.
You deserve someone who truly listens, and cares about what you have to say.
You deserve someone who doesn’t chastise you, tears you down, or reduces you to a state of invisibility.
You deserve someone who values your independence and encourages you to soar.
Someone who supports you, motivates you, and desires you.
Someone who thinks you’re perfect just the way you are.
Yes, my friend, you’ve been given the chance to reacquaint yourself with the old you.
The chance to leave behind the excess baggage that has held you down for so long.
The chance to resurrect the woman you were before, or reinvent a brand new you.
The chance to meet new people or reconnect with old friends.
The chance to process lessons learned and plan new adventures.
You are free.
Your life is just beginning
I thought long and hard whether to publish this post today and not one I had written on New Year’s resolutions.
Yet it’s today’s date which makes this post all that more significant.
A New Year–a new beginning.
A clean slate.
A chance to rewind, fast forward, hit play.
This post goes out to anyone who is unhappy but unsure of what to do.
As you ring in the New Year, remember, you deserve to come out of the shadows and into the light.
You deserve to be all you were meant to be.
Happy New Year!