Photo credit: Patrick Fore
I want to think I’ve been missed. I want to imagine someone has wondered why I haven’t posted to my blog in over a year. I need to believe that someone, anyone, has asked himself or herself where I am.
The truth is, I’ve been held hostage, or more accurately, I’ve held myself hostage. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Readers who follow my blog can attest to the fact that my going AWAL has become rather habitual; that my rants have become fewer and far between.
And that’s because I’ve convinced myself that the only time I can write is when everything is alright, when all my ducks are in a row, when everything has been handled and I can finally set my imagination free.
Yet my time in captivity has taught me that these expectations will never be met. I am never going to have enough time. My ducks are never going to be perfectly aligned, and something will always require my attention.
That’s life. That’s the way things are and sadly, nothing is going to change. So after much pondering, I’ve concluded that if I don’t take action, this blog is going to die. My virtual friends are going to disappear. And if I wait long enough, no one will wonder where I’ve gone.
Some time ago, I remember reading that “a true writer is unable to stop writing,” and that it’s “easier for a writer to stop breathing than to stop writing.” While I agree that there are times writers are unable to stop writing, I disagree that only those capable of doing this can be classified as writers.
Which leads me to ask, am I truly a writer? This question is what has prompted me to determine what direction this blog will take–before it dies, before you forget about me.
Perhaps more than a writer I’m a communicator. After all, it is vital to my state of well being for me to communicate; to share with others that which touches my life. Parting from that premise, perhaps I don’t need to wait for the perfect time to write what I believe to be an exceptional piece. Instead, perhaps I should communicate more.
I truly hope you will come along for the ride. I promise to try and make it an interesting journey.