Thank you for being a friend!

There are many reasons why bloggers choose to blog.

Some do it because it’s a great way to practice writing skills.

Others do it because blogging can be a great creative outlet.

And some aspiring writers do it because it’s important for them to have both a blog and a regular readership.

Nevertheless, there are also some who do it because blogging is a great way to build friendships.

I am one of those people.

When I first started blogging, my readership consisted of the Daughter, who read every now and then and rarely commented, my sister, who read rarely but commented every time she read, and the Significant Other and the Son, who never read but were forced to listen to my posts as soon as I wrote them.

This quickly changed as more people began to read my blog.

As my readership grew, my family members seemed to disappear into the woodwork, never to be seen again.

You’d think this would make me sad, but it doesn’t.

I’ve come to realize that you can’t force people to do what you want them to do.

Actually, you could, but the results would not be pretty.

But I digress.

My point is that even while family members pulled a disappearing act, it didn’t matter.

Why?

Because I discovered that in other bloggers, not only did I have readers, but also friends.

Sadly, I have yet to meet any of the lovely people who take the time to read my posts, or leave a thoughtful comment.

Nevertheless, when I read a comment left by one of my readers, I feel like a dear friend has left me his or her thoughts.

With this in mind, I have something I want to say to you all.

I marvel at the encouragement and support your words inspire.

I get emotional whenever I read the lovely words you leave on the pages of this blog.

I sigh at the wisdom and intelligence exhibited by your remarks.

I giggle, chuckle, and laugh out loud as I read your funny comments.

Yes, we may not have met, but every one of you feels like an old friend.

Time after time, I have wondered what it would be like to host a party where you’re all invited; to sit down for a cup of tea or coffee; to laugh over a glass of vino.

I wonder what makes you laugh, smile, and cry.

I sigh as I realize that we are separated by many miles; every one of us living in a different city, a different country, a different continent.

I pondered this tonight as I lay out the items needed for tomorrow’s dinner.

And it occurred to me that today was the perfect time to express my feelings.

This post came together in a matter of minutes.

Because that’s what happens when you speak from the heart.

Tonight, I wish to express my gratitude.

I am grateful for your readership.
I am grateful that you take the time to comment.
But more than anything, I am grateful for your friendship.

Thank you!

To all those who celebrate Thanksgiving, Roxy and I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

And to everyone else, Happy Thursday!

XOXO,

Is this book on your shelves?


cc licensed ( BY NC ND ) flickr photo shared by Jody Art

Dear Barnes & Noble Staff:

Divorce is ugly.

The couple in the relationship knows it. Their respective families know it. Even the neighbors know it. But more than anyone, the best friend knows it.

How do I know this? Because I’m the best friend.

I’ve scoured bookstores, the Web, and even yard sales, searching for a handbook that will show me the ropes.

And we’re not talking instructions on how to act, what to say, or how to listen.

We’re talking, a guidebook on how to dissuade your best friend from doing the absurd, the reckless, and above all, the crazy.

Best friends need an instruction manual that will tell us how to convince the soon to be divorcée that no, it’s not a good idea to buy night vision goggles so we can do a stakeout, in a rental car, waiting to see who comes in or out of a soon to be ex’s house.

We need to know how to prevent our best friend from climbing out on a fourth floor ledge, attempting to capture shots of her husband and his new squeeze.

We need to know how to talk her out of driving to a 24 hour Walmart at 3am, only so she can buy craft materials to make a voodoo doll.

And we definitely need guidance regarding how to prevent a best friend from posting an ad on Craiglist titled, “Hitman for hire.”

So yes, I’m at the end of my rope.

I’m desperately searching for an e-book, instruction manual, or any book whose title resembles something along the lines of “How to Get Through Divorce: The Best Friend’s Guide.”

Alas, divorce is ugly, but a prepared best friend can prevent it from getting uglier than it has to be.

If you feel you have any book on your shelves that remotely addresses this situation, I’d be grateful if you would let me know.

If you don’t, perhaps you know writers who are willing to write this type of book.

If however, you can’t assist me in any way with my plight, I’d like to offer my services to write a book, manual, or at the very least, a pamphlet, that will help other people in my circumstances.

I hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience and thank you for your cooperation regarding this matter.

Attentively,
A best friend who’s ready to hang herself with a real rope

Is it possible to be friends with an ex?


cc licensed flickr photo shared by JonJon2k8

A friend called me this morning and asked me the following: Do you think it’s possible to be friends with an ex?

However, both she and I knew exactly where the conversation was headed: me arguing the reasons why there isn’t a chance in hell that you can continue an amicable relationship with an old flame and her accusing me of being jaded and bitter.

Then why call and ask for an opinion in the first place?

The answer to that is simple:sometimes we want someone, anyone, to tell us what we want to hear if only to feel supported in whatever decision we’re making, crazy as it might be.

So is it possible to stay buddies with an ex?

I’m valiantly trying to stay objective when answering this question but alas, it’s hard when all the men I’ve been in relationships with in the past have turned out to be world-class jerks.

However, I’m also certain there are those who are quite content to continue in chummy relationships even though they’re no longer romantically linked.

But how in hell do they do that? That’s what I want to know.

My friend claims that her ex contacted her a week ago and requested they go to dinner.

She was surprised to hear from him considering he was the one that broke off the relationship and exited the building with the dramatic warning of “And I never want to see you again!”

Seriously ladies, what could this gentleman possibly want a year later?

While my friend continues to hang on to her rose-colored vision that he’s matured and has finally come to realized the importance of friendship, the rational side of me thinks he’s back in town and is simply trying to score a booty call.

In my humble opinion, it is not in a man’s DNA to want to call a woman just so they can exchange pleasantries and catch up on old times.

Or maybe that’s part of the plan as long as the night ends with a little somethin’ somethin’.

Personally, there hasn’t been a time when I’ve been in a room with an ex where the noble part of me wants to go over and say, “Lets let bygones be bygones.”

On the contrary, most of the time, I’ve been mentally hexing him or clinging frantically to any piece of furniture to keep myself from going at him like Attila the Hun.

(Hey, that’s what happens when you have a passionate nature!)

Nevertheless, there might just be a Mother Teresa among us who wants to cross the room, kiss her ex on both cheeks and cheerfully say, “I’m sending you a “Friend request. Please accept!”

Give me a break.

I say, when it’s over, it’s over.

Finito. Terminado. Game over.

There is no need to call, get together, Tweet, or leave comments on pictures.

And trying to turn yourself into his friend after whatever turmoil you may have survived?

Well…that’s just desperate stupid.

While there’s no need to attack the man in public, I feel we owe it to ourselves to maintain a certain level of dignity and refuse to be sucked into any drama a “new” friendship might bring.

After all, the only time you should look back at the past is when you want to assess how far you’ve come.

And that certainly doesn’t include lugging around the baggage of an ex.

What do you think, ladies? Friendship with an ex, yay or nay?